Its strange how Im confronted with a different aspect of learning about boundaries with my kittens.
Cats do not heed commands , requests , pleas ….any of it 🤣
Any cat person will tell you that the worst possible thing you can do is shout at or frighten your cats in order to discipline them. It is , in fact , the best way to alienate them for life.
So the usual accepted methods using fear as a tool do not work. In fact , they completely backfire on us.
Our cats have personalities…one is scared of everything and the other is slightly bolder and curious. What they both respond to, is a kind, calm and loving tone.
We are told by experienced “cat humans”( those who love cats and understand them😄), that we cannot force our cats to adapt quicker or feel at home with us any quicker than they are ready to do so. Some cats take a year! The only thing we can consistently do is give them a safe, loving environment where they can experience consistent kindness and love ( consistent being the operative word )
It is not as if cats do not display undesirable behaviour….most days when I forget to turn my tissue boxes over, I find tissues torn to shreds all over the living room or the sofas.
My beautiful leather chairs get scratched when they feel the need to scratch inspite of the scratching toys we have got them. Once when we were trying to train them into using the new litter box and had taken away the old one suddenly , Artemis would pee on Kians chair or her own bed. We had to bring back the old litter box , keep it side by side with the new one and had to patiently wait till they learnt how to be comfy with the bigger one.
All this would have left me infuriated and frustrated even upto a year ago. Now strangely, I feel that they are here to truly teach me the power of unconditional love and the letting go of all ( things and ideas )that I held onto so dearly.
My mother is getting upset about my chairs getting scratched from all the way in Delhi( because she knows how fondly I selected them and they are her favourite chairs to sit on when she is here with us) , and all I can feel is amused and somewhat detached, all the while feeling intense love for them.
I am learning from this experience , how to extend this unconditionality to my relationships with my children and indeed everyone.
Fear has its place…when souls are yet driven by it and are motivated by it. To be motivated by and driven by love…has a different feel to it.
A sense of liberation.