CONDITIONING

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Why do birthdays , festive holidays make us feel so despondent or lower our vibrations sometimes ? Aren’t they supposed to be happy times and aren’t we supposed to feel the joy ?

This is something I was thinking about today. There have been times in my life where Ive excitedly prepared for Christmas , Diwali, Valentines Day etc and really looked forward to my birthday. There have been equally times where the mere thought of these occasions coming around has thrown me into a state of feeling miserable without quite knowing why.
Thinking about it today , I realised that our conditioning ,our expectations is the root cause of the misery.

When we have been brought up in loving ,caring homes where each occasion has consistently given us joy or our birthdays have been made a big deal of …we start to expect that to continue ,as we grow older, from the partners or families we belong to now.

When the quality of the celebration does not meet the mark, our conditioning makes us feel as if we have been let down.
Or if we have been brought up in families where these occasions were a source of stress or disappointment right from the beginning, where we compared the lack of love and joy to other friends and their families where it all seemed to be perfect …our conditioning again makes us feel not so great around these times.

Or if we made beautiful memories with certain people who are no longer in our lives , our hearts link the joy of these occasions to those people. Their absence , in our lives , is then felt acutely , as we are comparing how we felt then and how we are feeling now.

So how do we help ourselves get out of this?
Well Im thinking, that the mere understanding of the ‘why’ leads us to the ‘how’.

Each one of us will have a different approach to feeling better.
I do feel , however , that loving detachment and letting go of the memories and expectations that no longer serve us, making new memories where we cherish ourselves , instead of waiting for someone outside of us to do it for us, are some of the ways.

I also remember, feeling the stress to uphold certain traditions…buy new clothes for Diwali, make sweets, give them to neighbours etc. This year Im happily oblivious to it all. I no longer feel the need to do any of it. I have lovingly detached myself from the obligation and traditions that no longer make me feel great. There is no longer any ‘ must do ‘ or ‘ have to ‘ in any of these occasions . Doing what gives me joy….and therefore showing my kids the freedom that comes with following their hearts and their joy.
Make today a day of deep love and appreciation for yourself and everyone. It is the best way to lift yourself up. For example anybody you meet …stop and say hello and smile into their eyes. Or people who do stuff for you…show them your appreciation. Spread kindness.
I go around leaving little notes for people I care about …and stopping to tell strangers that they look nice or cab drivers that their cabs smell nice or that I enjoyed my conversation with them.

It always always lifts my spirits when I stop to lift someone else’s