I was born to love. I was born to give that love unconditionally. I was also born to receive that love unconditionally.
I started out by giving and receiving it fully…but as I grew, I also started noticing, how sometimes, the love given to me came with certain ,very subtle conditions.
As an adult, I realise , that that was me confusing love with approval or acceptance. True love …in all of its forms , is unconditional. It does not diminish with time , is not affected by moods, and definitely has no conditions attached to it. I came to associate ‘ love ‘ with hurt , with let downs, with pain.
I put up guards around my heart and became very ,very careful with who I allowed in and more importantly, who I gave my love to ,without worrying about how they could use it to hurt me. That was( ironically) me, putting so many conditions to that very love that I was born to give and receive freely.

As I grew in awareness, I slowly and painfully understood the difference between my limited , fearful concept of love and the real magnificient , unbridled , huge and humbling power that is the real deal.

I often wondered ,why it was so much easier for me to express my love and appreciation for people I barely knew than for those that were closest to me. Perhaps the closer you are , the more the expectations …the more the conditions.

In my journey to my centre, to my authentic self…I have slowly shed my expectations and my conditions.
I started loving me ,without needing anything to be changed, to be improved upon.
I started wholeheartedly loving me.

And then the miracle happened.

I was free now, to love others and be who I was born to be.
That light of love, shining in someone elses dark hour…carrying them through and then quietly slipping away as they learnt to find their own light of love within them.
Knowing that their lights had shone upon me too , with no conditions attached. That inadvertently , I was receiving as much love as I was giving away so freely …that beautiful love with no conditions attached 💕



It is ok to give away my bowl. It is also ok to not give it away.

Not all of us come here to offer merely what is inside our bowls. Some of us come here to offer our bowls as well.

After all, the bowl and me and the perceived other are all me …all extensions of the one.

It is the intention, behind giving away the bowl, that is truly important.

When the bowl is given because of an outpouring of love , or an overwhelming compassion or pure unconditional love or feeling of wellbeing, and when one knows on the inside that,no matter how many times the bowl is ‘given away ‘ with these pure feelings, it shall be replaced again and again and again and that no real loss occurs, then it is ok to give away the bowl.

On the other hand when it is given away with fear/ neediness / conditionality /wanting something in return… like love , approval, praise or respect, only then it is NOT ok to give it away.

Even so , it is not upto any of us to decide this for another.
Each one of us gets to decide this for ourselves. Each one of us is a unique individuated expression of the ONE. So what is ok for me, may not be ok for another.

It is ok for me to give away my bowl.

It is also ok for me not to.

I am learning how it feels both ways. I am learning when to give it away and also when, not to.

It is not upto me to judge whether or not the ‘ receiver ‘ is worthy or what their intentions are or how they perceive it.

This is merely the stumbling block. The resistance to oneness. There are no firm conclusions in any of the life themes we choose to experience. There is no ” The end”.

That is what makes this never ending journey so beautiful.


When we are gifted with empathy and compassion , we are likely to be more questioning of our own motives and intentionality. Therefore more prone to self doubt or self criticism.

The reason is, we feel so much empathy for another, that we tend to favour their feelings and wants over our own. This creates an unnecessary imbalance energetically. Also makes us more prone to getting depleted / have more imbalanced energetic relationships or WORSE, as a defensive measure , retreat into the ‘ safety ‘ of isolation.

As compassionate beings, with compassion being the way we are meant to connect to the world, it is not to our advantage to go into isolation.

Therefore, in order to prevent this viscious cycle
1) Really becoming self aware and therefore less doubtful of our own intentions
2) loving and honouring ourselves.
3) Not giving in to the urge to explain ourselves or change our behaviour to suit the world.
4) Still caring about people but not about their opinions
5) Not retreating but being mindful of our boundaries and not hesitating to be firm about them.
6) Knowing that when we love and honour ourselves, we are not only doing what is absolutely necessary for us but also benefitting others, as then they know where they stand ( so they are not tempted to ride roughshod over us).

Sidestepping suffering

It seems to me that a lot of our suffering is self inflicted.

As children , we start sorting out what we like or don’t like and we continue to label ourselves , others and situations.

When we step out of what we then expect from ourselves ( as defined by and restricted by our labels ) , we suffer.

For example, the label of being an introvert.
When we want the company of people and rather enjoy it , AFTER labelling ourselves as Introverts, we suffer because we feel as if we have not been true to ourselves.
It causes a conflict within. Where as, if we were to realise, that actually we have not been true to the LABEL and that having that label in the first place, is not being true to the unlimited nature of our souls…then we understand the root of the conflict and can therefore resolve it.

Similarly, when we extend this sort of system to others, we walk into suffering again. When people step out of the roles or characteristics that we have assigned them to, we are disillusioned and often feel let down.

When we further allow our conditioning to extend to how life ” ought to ” unfold for us, we slip even deeper into this quicksand.

The answer to this then, is to let life unfold as it unfolds.
To not judge it , label it or restrict it.
To let people show up however they want to show up and take it all in our strides.
To show up in our own lives authentically in every moment. Whatever feels right to us in that moment, knowing and accepting that whatever feels right in one moment may not feel right in another.
To not attach to any one particular version of any of it.
We then sidestep the suffering, whilst experiencing life fully.
We do not need to run away to the mountains to find ourselves. We can be wherever we are and still find harmony in it all.


It is what it is.

I find myself saying this, on the inside, a lot lately.

It is what it is.

So what does this even mean ? Does it mean Im getting cynical, jaded and resigned to it all ?

OR, is it rather, a gradual letting go of how I felt things should be , how people should be , how I should be , how relationships should turn out and that list goes on?

Basically a lot of ‘ should’s’ .

With ” it is what it is , ” Im learning to let life unfold in its own way, at its own pace and being ok with it all. Becoming more of an observer and not being so actively entrenched in trying to fit/ fix things, or adjust / adapt / change anything. Learning to slowly trust in the bigger picture.

Accepting that all is exactly how it should be in any case, including me.

It is what it is.

A journey away from illusion, towards what really is.


Letting your vulnerability show, is a part of being authentic. It is baring yourself as you are. It takes courage and determination and sometimes just a lot of knocks from life to know that it is truly the only way to be.

We are conditioned to be anything but vulnerable. We are taught to mask certain feelings , sometimes our innermost truths.
We are taught what is acceptable and what is not. Even in what we are feeling.

It is stifling.

Because it is not your truth. Each one’s truth is different and unique. When we allow ourselves to express our truth in the way we show up in the world, it is liberating. We then allow others too, the same liberation.

It is like letting out a long held up breath and feeling the relief of it.

The amazing part of it is, once you do show up authentically, miracles begin to unfold. Then you are aligned to who you truly are and are expressing and being who you truly need to be.

One persons truth is another ones dysfuntion. Once we understand this fact , it brings about a deeper empathy and acceptance and therefore grace.
Saves one from a lot of hurt and illusion.

Im still peeling layers of who I thought I was, to discover who ‘ I ‘ really am.
It is a long process ,sometimes bringing relief and sometimes great sorrow, but it is what it is.

And Im learning to be okay, with all of it.

Even people letting you down is an interesting test.

People you care about, will let you down. Even you will let down the people you love…..sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly.

How you react in cases like this is VERY important.

Do you retreat into your shell of judgement and hurt ? Do you give up on everyone ? Do you proclaim that all are selfish and only serve their needs ? Do you try and protect yourself by putting up high walls around you ?
Or do you grow in your understanding, so big that you can see the bigger picture……the whole tapestry, and realise that you may be just a single thread , but the way you act and react CAN actually affect the design of the whole fabric of existence.

That by NOT retreating into your own shell, by continuing to be an enthusiastic , loving , giving, unconditional light …if you inspire even one around you in the innate goodness of us all…you will start to make a difference.

For this though, you have to reach in deep…deeper than your ego would usually permit.

Deeper, way deeper than the hurt and the judgement and the wrongness into the unconditionality of it all…the love deep within. This requires the blind faith that it is worth reaching for…the faith that , that is indeed what you are on the inside. Then slowly allowing that love to seep into all of you and colour you so that you shine luminous. Where it transforms you and others around you.
By not giving into the illusion of hurt …you win …you pass that test. The test that you set for yourself and knew if you listened to your souls nudges , you would pass.



HS- were you hurt ?
Me – Hell yes !
HS – Did you feel you were wronged?
HS – Would you like to feel validated in feeling that you were right and were wronged ?
Me – yes yes yes it would only be fair.
HS- Are you willing to let go and forgive even if that does not happen ?
Me- (thinking about it for a bit ) yes please.
HS- why ?
Me- Because holding on hurts and I don’t like feeling this way.
HS- Even if you have to let that feeling of righteousness go ?
Me – yes
Hs – why ?
Me – Because feeling bad and being right still makes me feel bad. I don’t like feeling bad anymore. I would rather be happy and not care about feeling right about this.
HS- Do you realise that once you decide to do this , and you are again confronted with the person / situation that hurt you in the first place , you might feel as if its all coming back and you might feel the urge to defend yourself or put up your side of things ? That would not be ‘ real ‘ forgiveness. Or letting go.
In order to really ‘ let go ‘ and really ‘ forgive ‘ you cannot feel anything but love for the person / situation and that is truly when you would have moved on?
ME ( with a gulp ) yes I understand and I am ready
HS – why ?
Me – cos my peace , my harmony , feeling good and following my joy, staying in my alignment and experiencing clarity is more important to me than holding on to feeling right about something that takes me off my balance.
HS – Well thats a good place to start 😁

From a victim to a manifestor

You are moving levels of your consciousness through this process.

Don’t underestimate its power or its beauty.

Don’t be too focussed on ‘ doing ‘ and ‘ learning’ …enjoy the process.
It is not a ‘ new ‘ process.

It is something that you already know , deep down at soul level. There is nothing new to learn.
Just relax into the knowing by letting the resistance melt away.
Have fun with it.
This is meant to be a joyous awakening for you. An awakening from long slumber….to a clear, clear vision.
The first shift is usually the hardest. Because you are shifting from your perception of being a victim , of being helpless to being empowered to create change in your life. You are realising that you are a creator and that you can master these rules of creation.

Its an exciting stage. Like a baby realising that he can crawl…suddenly he feels as if he can go anywhere. However, there are many other stages. Just like, after a baby learns to crawl , he also learns how to walk , run, swim and dance.

Each stage is beautiful and is inbuilt deep inside of you. The journey therefore originates from inside of you and that is where, eventually , your focus must go. There is no lasting joy in anything outside of you. But that does not mean you must not enjoy the different stages. Trust and go along and it shall unfold exactly as it should.

The more you trust ..the less the resistance …the less the suffering, the more the enjoyment of the process.


We often think that only certain emotions are desirable. For example joy , love , excitement , generosity, kindness, enthusiasm etc.

However we are human beings in an environment of duality, so how can we ignore the emotions that we consider not so desirable, like anger, frustration , bittterness, sadness, jealousy, lethargy etc?

Usually social and other conditioning reinforces our discomfiture with these emotions. Movies, novels, religious stories show very clear demarcations between hero’s who are always good , kind , brave , loving etc etc and show villains who are always mean, jealous , angry or greedy etc.

The truth is, all of us have a part hero and part villain within us , if you want to think of it like that. Very rarely is anyone pure ‘ good ‘ or ‘evil ‘.

At our core, we are pure unconditional love.

It helps to remember that , as we sift through this duality that life presents. We can CHOOSE our emotions. However we must never ignore, push down or turn our faces away from ANY emotion. All emotions are our souls way of guiding us closer and closer to our inner core.

It is our call again, as to how much energy we want to give to certain emotions. The more we stay with frustration and victimization, the more we feed these …the more we stay with hope and faith …the more we bring these into our reality.
Frustration and despair are important emotions. By not allowing them, you are sweeping it under the carpet and trying hard to pretend it is not there.
Instead , look at them and ask yourself why am I feeling this way ? Is it because my physical mind and my subconscious are playing past programmes in order to ‘ protect ‘ me ? What does my higher consciousness think of this? When you align all three together, you will feel the harmony of alignment. Your higher consciousness is NEVER going to align itself to your ego mind or the programming of your subconscious mind. You have to align them to the higher consciousness. You can do that by always reaching for a better feeling thought. If the subject that is causing you angst is where you have a lot of resistance , then for a bit, change the subject and focus on what feels good. Keep making your way through by looking for the next best thought and then the next and before you realise, it shall become a habit to feel good and you will no longer tolerate feeling bad (which you do to yourself in your reactions )

When you are faced with making decisions and often feel confused as to what decision is best for you then in order to beat the possibility paralysis , slow down your reaction time…start to tune in to your inner guidance. Each of us are born with 2 things, one is free will ( will to choose ) and an inner guidance system. Our inner guidance is what I refer to as our inner being or higher consciousness. It knows you completely…inside out…it has been with you since the start of your origination as it is that awareness / consciousness of you that is in the non physical part of you. Your emotions are a direct link to this inner guidance system.
So when you slow down your reaction time , and listen in to your gut feel about any choice or decision you need to make…it shall guide you correctly every single time.
As a child this gut feel/ intuition is strong ….as we grow , due to conditioning and external focus we mess up our ability to tune in.
So getting to deeply know ourselves is the first step…slowing down and really tuning in is the second. You can do this via meditation or quiet time
Try it for everything …stop and tune in and see what you feel.
It feels different in different people. It might feel like a deep knowing or even just a deep feeling of peace.

Practise until you trust it and can use this guidance system more efficiently for everything.

Vibrational mismatch

Words do not speak. Your vibrations do. Its not merely words that are the cause for unwanted stuff showing up in your experience. Or for misunderstandings.

Especially when your words do not match your vibrations.

When your words say one thing, but your vibrations something entirely different. That is what causes a misalignment in what you said and what showed up.
When you say what you mean ..to the people you want to say it to. And what you say comes out from a place of love , not fear. When you do say what you say and do not attach to the results of what you say…all of it is fine. Do not act or react unless it comes from a place of love.
People can only interpret your intentions based on their experiences or their own general intentionality. They can never tap into your source of intentionality and you cannot tap into theirs. It is best to observe therefore, and be gently detached from it all.
To observe and choose to learn or not.To observe and choose to act or not.

To observe and choose to react or not.

To observe and never be compelled or obligated to do anything more.

It is all ok.

It was always all ok.

It is always going to continue being ok.

Being kind is important. One can accomplish way more by being gentle and kind.

Even though it might be greatly tempting to call people out on their bullshit, that rarely helps ,as it only serves in putting up their defences.

If they haven’t acknowledged their BS to themselves , they are unlikely to acknowledge it to you.

I get the image of a rock against a rock. So much force and breakage.

Where as water , lapping lovingly and with great consistency , wears off the resistance too and yet does no damage.