What happens when you stop chasing the other side and look at where you currently are?

Today, I decided to start re-listening to The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. It reminded me that our mind can create obstacles and fear-based thoughts if we allow it to. It then magnifies these thoughts until they crowd out hope, faith, and positive thinking completely.

We stop noticing where we currently are with contentment, satisfaction, and deep gratitude. Instead, we start to flap around, trying to get somewhere else where we believe we will finally feel peace and satisfaction.

This can be the mind’s doing if we allow it free rein.

Instead, if we stop and fill our minds with awareness of the blessings already present in our lives, we begin to crowd out negative, pessimistic thinking. We start to notice how much there is to appreciate right where we are.
This is a powerful shift. The obstacles our mind created and made look so tough to surmount may begin to soften or fall away.

And the peace and satisfaction we were chasing become available in the very place where we are standing.

Message from my 3 minute meditation this morning

What is bothering you the most during this phase of your learning?

People who have been given power over others often use it unfairly and ignore the needs of those they have the power to help.

The answer that comes is:

Then become someone who embodies power with great kindness and humility, at all times, in your own life.

We often have power that we do not even realise we have. Power over family members, pets, helpers, and those who are in service to us in some way or another.

How do we use this power?

Do we become arrogant? Do we consider only our own needs above those of others? Do we speak unkindly of those who cannot defend themselves? Do we ignore those who need us?

We even exercise power of choice over our own bodies. How do we exercise that power?

And I think, ultimately, it all comes down to how we exercise this power of choice.

Why do we, as human beings, use power in ways that are unfair? Why do we actively or passively make choices that hurt others or bring them down?

The answer that comes is that there are sticky gates of fear, resulting in jealousy, competition, comparison, avarice, guilt, shame, worry, and so on.

Those who have lost their way and behave in this manner are perhaps the ones most disconnected from their own light.

They are to be pitied rather than hated.

They, too, are forging their own paths.

In this world, we must remember that the laws of the universe apply to all, fairly and completely.

Those who feel so strongly motivated in this lifetime to set things right, to fight against oppression and unfairness, may perhaps feel this so deeply because they themselves have been oppressors at some point in the course of their soul’s journey. Perhaps they now feel the pain of those they once oppressed.

Or perhaps it is simply because they are highly sensitive souls, with a deeply developed sense of justice, empathy and compassion. They may have a heightened awareness of what feels right and what feels wrong, and an innate sensitivity to the suffering of others. Their hearts may simply be unable to turn away from injustice when they see it.

There may be many reasons why a soul feels called to stand up for what is right, and perhaps each is following its own unique path of learning, growth and evolution.

Others who are currently oppressors, who create division and suffering, may be young souls, or simply souls who still have many lessons of love to learn along the way.

And yet, even they provide an extraordinary opportunity for growth for so many other souls.

Think of the dictators and fascists of the past. Through the suffering and upheaval they caused, humanity was also moved in profound ways, awakening people to injustice and inspiring great shifts in collective consciousness.

Perhaps, from the perspective of the soul’s eternal journey, even these difficult chapters become opportunities for learning, growth and evolution.

And so, the final message that comes is:

You lose energy when you struggle against what is.

Be the flow. Be water.

Stay awake, and keep that beautiful heart open.

Simi ❤️

Zen Reflection

Does wisdom change the world, or only how you see it?

Initially, wisdom changes how one sees the world. Eventually, this shift changes the world itself. And therein lies the hope.
The value of lived experiences, approached with an open and curious heart and mind, is that these experiences lead to wisdom. The more open and curious the heart and mind become, the more wisdom arises from within, without resistance.

When you look at something through the veils of your conditioning, and begin to realise that you are looking at the world through perhaps several layers of conditioning, you also realise that the truth may be presented to you in a distorted manner.

The more you introspect, meditate, and develop an attitude of curiosity, a beginner’s mindset, simplicity, humility, kindness, compassion, and love, the more clarity you arrive at, especially when you apply both intuition and logic with these attitudes.

You may also come to the realisation that what you are seeing may not be the ultimate truth, because you become increasingly aware that you, too, are looking at things through your own blind spots.

I think this awareness increases compassion, because when you look at others and observe how they see things, you begin to recognise that they have their own blind spots as well.
When you start to operate from this increasing level of clarity, the actions you take may begin to change. More importantly, I think the intention behind those actions shifts. The attitude with which you take those actions shifts.
And when that happens, eventually, the consequences of those actions also begin to shift.
Because the energy that you bring into an action, through your attitude, your feelings, and your intentions, also contributes to its consequences.
Therefore, I do feel that wisdom and clarity eventually affect who you become and who you are.

And in that shift, in who you become, how you live your daily life, and how you apply this wisdom, you don’t necessarily need to put it out there or try to tell somebody about it.

It is about how you live this newfound wisdom that actually begins to shift the world, because the consequences of your actions, and the energy behind those consequences, are changing.
And so, eventually, wisdom doesn’t just change how you see the world. It changes the world itself.
And therein lies the hope.

Simi

Our wounds originate from the places within us, where light has not yet permeated.
Today, I’m becoming increasingly aware of how my triggers arise from experiences I have not yet consciously processed. Places where the light of consciousness and attention has not yet shone upon the trauma, the hurt, the fear, hidden in the deeper spaces of my body as memory.
Yesterday, Colin said something quite profound. He had read somewhere that the opposite of grief is not joy, or even contentment. It is forgetting. Not remembering.

When you forget a past hurt or a loss , you no longer grieve it.

That got me thinking.
There are different levels of forgetting, aren’t there?
Sometimes we forget because something has genuinely lost its emotional charge. We can remember the experience without reliving the pain. But at other times, we forget only at the conscious level. The mind may have pushed something away, but the nervous system continues to respond to reminders of what once put us into fear or hurt us.

The body remembers what the mind strives to forget.

And the mind, rather unfortunately, also has a tendency to hold on to the very things that trouble it. To revisit old hurts, to anticipate threats, to protect itself from something that may no longer even be happening.
So perhaps the opposite of grief isn’t really forgetting.
Perhaps it is integration.
To remember without suffering in the same way. To acknowledge what happened without continuing to live inside it. To allow the memory to remain, but without the same emotional charge attached to it.
So how does one proceed?
Perhaps by first accepting that there are parts of us that are yet unhealed. Parts that will, from time to time, rear their heads, asking for our attention.
Not because something is wrong with us, but because there is something within us that is asking to be seen.
By becoming more conversant with our bodies. By deliberately and gently bringing the light of awareness to the places that have remained hidden. Diligently, consistently, but without turning healing into yet another task that needs to be accomplished.
And perhaps, sometimes, without even needing to understand or analyse what is happening. Simply allowing ourselves to feel what we feel, without judgment or resistance.
I’m also beginning to understand compassion at a deeper level.
In the recent past, I’ve noticed that many of the situations in which I’ve felt the need to dig my heels in, to defend my position or stand my ground, have come from my own triggers.
And when I’m interacting with others and their triggers show up, I can now see that their reactions, too, may come from wounds that have remained hidden. Hurts and fears they may have carried for far longer than they consciously realise.
Perhaps, like me, they have forgotten these wounds within themselves.
And then I wonder…
Is it really me clashing against them?
Or is it our wounds that are clashing? Our unresolved emotions, our fears, our old hurts, each trying in its own way to protect us from being hurt again?

That realisation, brings with it a completely different perspective to the interactions.
Instead of seeing someone as difficult, unreasonable or deliberately hurtful, I can begin to recognise the possibility of pain behind their behaviour.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that hurtful behaviour becomes acceptable, or that compassion requires me to abandon my own boundaries/ understanding.

I can understand someone without agreeing with them. I can have compassion for their wounds without allowing those wounds to deepen mine.
Also, equally importantly,  I don’t need to rush past my own hurt in order to understand theirs.
My feelings deserve the same tenderness and compassion that I am learning to extend to others.
So instead of reacting from my wounds, or allowing someone else’s wounds to further deepen mine, I choose to turn inward. To look at what I am carrying. Not to judge it, suppress it or even rush to heal it, but simply to meet it with love, awareness and compassion.
Perhaps healing isn’t about fixing all the broken or wounded parts of ourselves.
Perhaps it is about realising that even these parts are worthy of our love.
And perhaps this is what bringing light into the darkness really means. Not trying to eliminate the darkness, but allowing it to exist within the same loving awareness as the light.
The more I recognise my own vulnerability, the easier it becomes to recognise it in another.
And somewhere in that recognition, the need to defend, to judge, to be right, begins to soften.
There is just me, and there is you.
Two human beings, each carrying experiences, memories, fears and hurts. Each doing the best we can with the awareness available to us in that moment.
And perhaps compassion is simply remembering that.
That beneath all our reactions, our defences and our differences, there is a shared humanity.
And that the light of awareness need not choose whose wounds are worthy of being held.
It can hold us both.

Simi ❤️

Thought we were meant to read the same book….and so we tried….over and over ….tried to match the pace so we could turn the pages at the same time.
Slowing down….hurrying through…the words made little sense.
Then finally, when it hurt too much to struggle through what we thought should be smooth,  one by one we let go of our tight grips on the book…..letting it fall from our hands.

Floundered in the darkness of no expectations. Mistaking the darknesss for the end. Not knowing what to expect anymore.
Not tied down to what we were taught about Love. We let ourselves turn inwards instead of looking to each other to match pace.
Picked up different books.
Now we sit side by side….shoulders touching….delighting in our own books. Turning pages in pace with our own hearts….finally in sync without even trying.
As we read the books we were always meant to read…..light fills us up and spills around us….we barely remember the darkness anymore.

Simi

“Outside, the Storm Rages. Inside, a Single Drop Fell.”

I underlined this as soon as I read it in the book ” A cup of Zen ” by Kai Tsukimi. 

Some words immediately have a profound impact and reach your heart.
I used to get drawn into every drama that presented itself on my life screen, and I felt all of it inside me. Even the movies I saw on a literal screen were not an escape. I cried with the characters and rejoiced with them. They stayed with me long after the lights came on.
I carried worry on my back or in my head for days, making me feel sluggish and worn. My brows were creased in worry, and my heart clenched and closed.
The whole notion of being unconscious is that we don’t realise that we have a choice in where our attention goes.
As I watched this pattern of remembering and slipping back into being reactive, I started paying attention to the conscious decisions I was making in terms of where my attention was going and why.
The egoic prompter thrives on the drama. It loves it, imbibes it and apparently only feels it exists when it is deep inside the drama.
The observer is calm, at peace and at ease because it knows it is all a drama. The observer is also aware that precious life-force energy is lost in the process of getting sucked into every drama. That this life force can instead be consciously directed inwards, towards our inner connection, towards the eternal fount of eternal peace, no matter the storm raging outside.
This is only possible when the dreamer awakens to their own ability to wake up from the dream.
Sometimes it takes a jolt, a shocking event that jerks the dreamer awake. Sometimes it is a series of prods and nudges from the Universe, gently reminding us to see the bigger perspective.
No matter the catalyst, a moment of peace tastes so good that the dreamer begins yearning for more. They begin to fight the urge to go back to sleep again.
Sometimes we still fall asleep, but within the dream we realise we have fallen asleep and jerk ourselves awake.
Ironically, in this life it occurred to me that when our eyes are open and we feel we are awake, looking outwards at the illusion, we are actually asleep and dreaming, getting sucked into the drama.
But when we go into meditation, pranayama, yoga, Reiki and shut our outward-facing senses, we awaken the ones that look inward.
And that is how we awaken from a living dream.
In my case, just knowing that this is happening is not enough to make me stop engaging with the drama completely. It takes constant reminders from my conscious self to let go of the engagement with the drama.
Where I have progressed is that I have consciously minimised my active participation in all aspects of the drama.
I understand why the Buddha advocated the middle path of non-reactivity.
Lessening the reactivity and remaining neutral helps one to consciously choose where this precious life-force energy is directed.
To reach that place of:
“Outside, the storm rages.
Inside, a single drop fell.”

Perhaps that is the quest of this life for me.

Perhaps I don’t need to become the storm in order to care.

Perhaps I can be of greater help when I silence the storm within me and pour some peace into the drama of the dream….diluting and softening it enough so it loosens its hold upon us.

❤️

Do I feel as if my knowledge is complete?
No.
Will I ever feel my knowledge is complete?
No.
Will there always be something waiting to be learnt, read, understood, discovered or created?
YES!!
Does the knowledge I already have feel absolute?
No.
Does it feel as though it is written in stone and will not change or evolve as I go through life?
No.
Then do I really need more?
No.
Can I stop? Would it feel like a relief if I simply paused?
Yes.
Stopping. Pausing. Being. Allowing for space.

My phone feels like a reflection of my mind. It is full. More ideas, more learning, recipes, photos, essays, podcasts, things to read, things to listen to, things to remember…
My poor phone is holding so much.
And even if I sat down with urgency and discipline and tried to go through it all, I couldn’t.
Because at the same time, there would always be something more “happening” “out there” that I would feel I needed to catch up with.
There will always be more.
My inner guide once said:
“Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing more to teach or learn.”
And suddenly, that feels like such a relief.
To return to a state of no urgency.
To stop trying to fill every space.
To pause.
To simply be.
All of these ideas seem to bring me back to the same place…
Presence.

The mind, the E-prompter, tells me there is something more I need to know, learn, understand or become.

Mind → E-prompter → separation.

The heart reminds me that perhaps nothing is missing.

Heart → Inner Guidance GPS → Oneness.
And so, perhaps, I don’t need to stop learning.

I simply need to stop feeling that I am somehow incomplete without the next thing I learn.

There is time.
There is space.
There is no urgency.
There is just Beingness

My journal entry

A Cup of Zen

What are you carrying that no longer serves you?

1. The story that I am a rescuer or fixer
   That I am a rescuer or fixer, somehow responsible for fixing those that come to me.
   I am a soul on my own journey, as is everyone else.
2. The story that I am separate from Source or All That Is.
3. The story that I need to keep photos and things to keep memories alive
4. The story that relationships require effort

I feel relationships require presence and flow.
When anything feels like an effort and is not flowing naturally, it is not meant to be… in that moment.
Those that are in the 3D/ 4D will take offence because their egos will need to see that effort. They have an egoic prompter, an E-prompter.
Those that strive to be in the more expanded states of consciousness no longer have the E-prompter. Or atleast not guided or heavily influenced by their EP.

They value presence and flow.

Whatever is in front of them is what needs their full attention.

Flow does not mean being passive. It means that when one is taking a decision or action, the decision or action is coming from the flow, from love, from inspiration, from truth, from joy.

When a decision or action comes from resistance or fear or obligation, it is not a part of the flow, and the results will show instantaneously through feelings of restlessness or unease.

Flow feels peaceful and full of life.

Not being in the Flow feels depleting.

💛💛💛💛💛💛

Separation from Source

When I move in the flow, I feel merged with All There Is.
It is a natural occurrence.
When my E-prompter kicks in, as it often does, it brings up the idea of me being an individual with egoic wants, needs and desires.
Ironically, it is my E-prompter that urges me to “do the work” to merge with Source.
That very idea comes from the notion that I am not already in communion with Source.
Which is why, lately, I’ve been feeling the urge to let go of the “efforting.” Being in the flow has become more important.
When I’m in the flow, time ceases to make an impression, and the joy of remembrance is profound.
Discomfort in the physical body or my E-prompter’s nagging brings me back.
This is where I get to exercise my free will. Become a “DHEET “,( punjabi word for someone who does not give up 😅) …. become adamant and insistent upon wanting to be in the flow.
Not for any perceived benefits in this world. Not to escape this world… but to finally move through this world whilst remembering my wholeness.
If I move through this world when I’m not in the flow, I am guided by my E-prompter that makes me feel I’m never enough, never going to have enough, never going to be at peace.
I feel pulled in different directions and am never fully present where I am.
But when I am in the Flow…
I become the Flow.
There is no resistance and no separation, so all that I need or could want is instantly fulfilled.
I am instantly and continuously at peace, and love fills me up, submerges me and moves through me.
And in this state, I can move through this world with all my senses more clear than they have ever been before. ❤️

The reason decisions become easier when we live in surrender is because we come to trust that the universe is fundamentally benevolent and is always working in our highest good.
From that place, life no longer feels like a constant series of choices to force or control. Instead, our only true responsibility is to show up each day as fully present and aligned as we can.
Whatever spiritual practice speaks to you, whether meditation, prayer, breathwork, Reiki, or simple presence, its purpose is to bring you back to your own center, to ground you, and to deepen your connection with God, the Universe, or whatever name you give to the Ultimate Truth.
Once you have tended to your alignment, life begins to unfold differently. What arrives in your experience is no longer something to resist or overanalyze. It is what life itself is presenting to you in this moment.
Your role is simply to meet it with presence, curiosity, and awareness, trusting that there is something within it that is here to be seen, experienced, learned from, or loved. From that place, right action arises naturally. Decisions are no longer driven by fear or overthinking. They emerge effortlessly from alignment itself.

There was an insight that came through the story that played out in my dream last night.

When people are operating from fear, one of the ways in which they seek to control their environment … either to protect themselves or just to survive is through manipulation. Whether conscious or unconscious, manipulation often begins as a form of self-defence.
Manipulation can show up as people-pleasing or micromanaging / controlling. It can include becoming extremely perceptive of the energies, emotions, and dynamics around them, and then trying to stay one step ahead of those energies in case they feel threatened by those energies.
A person may become highly observant of others, of their own body, and of subtle shifts in the environment because they have learned that vigilance can keep them safe.
I feel that when children grow up in volatile or emotionally unpredictable environments, they can often become very very intuitive and observant as a way to protect themselves or survive. They learn to navigate their environment as if they are walking in a mine field ….they learn to anticipate reactions, and to protect themselves emotionally. And over time, this can become such a deeply ingrained habit that they continue operating in this way even when the original threat no longer exists.

Without realizing it, they may continue trying to manage and/ or control their environment in order to feel safe. And in doing so, they may unintentionally create suffering for themselves and for others.
Because when we manipulate or attempt to control outcomes, we are also interfering with the freedom and discernment of the people around us. If we withhold parts of the truth or manage information in order to avoid conflict, or uncomfortable emotions discomfort etc then others are no longer being given the full picture from which to make their own choices.
This does not necessarily happen because someone is malicious or intentionally deceitful.
Very often, they are probably just afraid of the consequences of speaking or revealing the whole truth as they perceive it.
They are afraid of unpleasant emotions, unpleasantness, confrontation, or drama. So they try to control circumstances in such a way that this discomfort never arises.
But I feel that this approach often backfires in the long run.
Because withholding truth creates an imbalance and it takes away another person’s ability to discern reality fully for themselves. It interferes with authentic connection and creates imbalance within relationships and within the individual themselves.
And it is so very exhausting to live like this. Constantly trying to think a few steps ahead, trying to control themselves, others and their environment ….control outcomes in order to feel safe.
Many of us may come to realize at some point that, in order to survive earlier circumstances, we unconsciously adopted manipulation as a coping strategy. But once we become conscious of this pattern, something begins to shift.
We begin to realize that the universe is inherently supportive of our growth and evolution. That life is not always trying to hurt us. That not every emotion is dangerous. That our perception, our focus, and our inner state contribute greatly to the reality we experience.
And from that awareness, we no longer need to control, manipulate, or micromanage.
We can begin letting go of fear and moving more deeply into love.
This creates a more relaxed and truthful way of living. A way of being that allows reality to exist in its wholeness instead of trying to filter reality into only what feels pleasant, safe, or comfortable. It does not reject difficult emotions or uncomfortable truths. Instead, it allows space for all of life to exist as it is.
That, to me, feels like a more authentic reality because it encompasses everything.
And when a person begins meeting life in this way with honesty, openness, and truth, I feel that the freedom that accompanies that truth not only uplifts the individual, but also transforms their relationships with others.
I feel there would be far less suffering in the world if something as simple and profound as this were more deeply understood.❤️