Be Kind

• Keep it simple. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Be kind.

• Your energy speaks louder than words. Be kind.

• Your intentionality is all important. Be kind.

• When people are determined to misunderstand your words and your intentionality, you can be sure that their ego is hurt or involved in some way. The same goes for you. Be kind.

• Most times, they are playing out past programmes that have nothing to do with you. Do not take it personally. Be kind.

• The only way out is in. When you feel stuck, it is only because you have lost your connection to yourself …not because of any other reason. So go quiet and go within. Immediately there is relief. Be Kind.

• Allow others and allow yourself grace. Nobody gets it right all of the time. We are all learning to the best of our unique abilities. Be Kind.

• Do not assume to know anything about anyone. Even when you feel pretty sure you do. You could be wrong. Be Kind.

• Empathy is understanding that all of us can have different points of view about the same things. Be kind.

• Compassion comes when you understand that not all realise the above point….yet. It is not because they don’t want to or are stupid. It is because we all learn different things at different stages of our lives on our own paths. No path is better / advanced / truer / higher etc. All paths are unique. They all start and end the same. That is truly what matters. Remind yourself that there is still so much that you do not yet understand and that there are others who show you grace and kindness. So….yes….Be kind.

• Be kind. But start with being kind to yourself. True kindness and compassion does not exclude you. Your emotions and your feelings are important. Consider them, sit with them , nurture them and honour them. Learn the lessons they lead you to. Then allow them to move through you. There is no need to explain them, expect others to honour them or even understand them. They may not. And that is ok .

• Love and respect yourself enough to have proper boundaries. Compassion, empathy and understanding do not equate to tolerating behaviour which does not feel good in your gut. There is a reason it does not feel good.

• Drawing boundaries does not need you to be unkind or less compassionate. It just needs loving detachment and a determination to honour your path.

Our True Nature

We are ever evolving beings.
Just like the entire universe. Nothing in the universe is stagnant or stuck in one way of being.
We need to step out of the way to allow this evolving to happen.

When we fuss, worry, incessantly create unproductive thoughts that separate us from our inner state of tranquility and joy, we create big resistant blocks to the natural process of evolving/ change.

Our energy was never meant to be stagnant or still, even though, at times, we find certain stages pleasurable or comfortable, certain experiences pleasurable or comfortable, certain relationships comfortable or pleasurable in the ways they were, including ourselves in certain stages of our growth, comfortable or pleasurable.
The mere experience of our physical body evolving, changing and growing is the most obvious manifestation of this ever evolving state. We change from being babies to being children to teenagers and then adults and then through the different stages of adulthood.
This physical experience is characterised blatantly by change and continuous unstoppable evolution and transformation.
Even though the physical evolution is the most obvious one- the emotional and mental state also undergoes the same transformation and evolution.
In fact there is nothing that is not touched beautifully by the hand of evolution and transformation.
Seeds turn to buds and flowers or into mighty trees. Caterpillars to butterflies, clouds to rain etc. Nothing in nature resists this flow of change, this evolving.
When we are not in a state of allowing (like nature always is), we create resistance.
It is not the changing nature or ourselves or the world around us that causes us distress and suffering. It is our ideas/ perceptions or beliefs around this that cause us to create resistance to change. Therefore, it is our resistance to change that causes us pain and suffering.
When we like the way we felt in our bodies, we want to hold on to that feeling forever. When we liked certain aspects of our world, our relationships with our loved ones, we want these aspects to remain unchanging. We are pulled towards and motivated by the feelings of joy, expansiveness, contentment and love.

Therefore, sometimes we feel that these precious ‘feel good’ feelings are to be found in the external experience (in the way our bodies look and feel or in the way our relationships are or in our social, financial status or in the way we or our ” work” are liked, loved or admired by others or in the things we create in our physical world).
Inadvertently and sometimes very unconsciously, we then want to have time and situations stay just the way they are, in certain aspects and conveniently change in certain others (those where we are obviously uncomfortable).
If we take a moment to step out of our minds that are focussed on this external gratification and instead dwell in the bigger picture that is our true nature, then we realise that it is not the changing that causes us distress. It is our resistance to it.
It is in thinking that our joy lies outside of us, in these external things. Our joy was never meant to be tied up to these external things/ relationships which were ALWAYS meant to be transient. Our joy, peace and contentment are always with us, inside of us, deep in our consciousness, in our levels of awareness.
We carry them with us but we forget in our minds instinctive unconscious attachment to the external.
If instead, we accept, allow and surrender to this change that is gently incessant and inevitable, then we tune into the kind of joy that is a never ending stream of equanimity, not affected by the changing nature of our relationship to ourselves or the world. We can still tune into and feel the energies of these changes but they need no longer throw us off balance.

What liberation ! What joy !

” Detachment does not mean not caring. Detachment means caring enough to maintain your own state of equanimity and balance. This equanimity and balance is what is far more useful to yourself and others then losing your balance and becoming a part of the problem.”

A moment at a time

“There is no purpose and yet all is full of purpose. “

We look for purpose in only certain goals, activities, things, experiences etc and therefore deem only those as being important.
Looking deeper, we realise every thing has purpose, especially the things we label as being ” little things”.
We lose our balance when we lose this perspective, this understanding, that there are no “big” things or “little” things.
It is our level of awareness that determines what we see as big and important and what we see as tiny and insignificant.

Zen masters make it a point to be so mindful of each step they take, each cup of tea they drink., each moment of their breath.
They have understood its importance and its potential.
They have understood that in order to maximise the experience that life offers, they must slow down and really experience it all….moment by moment, not taking ANYTHING for granted, being completely aware of it all, revelling in it all, no matter what shows up. We have been conditioned to find purpose in our work. Now noticing purpose in our play brings us back into a state of balance.

Meeting each moment fully…moment by moment


I just want to put out there for you to think about this.

  1. Does your work define you ?
  2. Does your role as a husband/wife/ son/daughter/mother/father/ friend etc define you ?

You are playing a lot of roles in this and every incarnation….but these roles cannot even come close to defining the totality of who you are.
We end up striving for perfection in the various roles we play and still feel inadequate in some way or the other.
These roles are tiny expressions of who we are. When we let go of the illusion of control over how we think we ought to show up in our various roles and instead just ” feel ” our way through life, we instinctively open up and allow life to live through us. We can then tune into what we truly are and that feeling of clarity brings with it a huge relief from the ” struggle ” and an overwhelming sense of love and compassion and FULLNESS in ourselves. We finally see the futility of trying to see ourselves as merely these roles. We see that we are expressions of Source and therefore this is merely a fun adventure. There is no great ambition or direction. We already are whatever we are looking for. So what is left ?
Just to settle into enjoying this experience

The Bigger picture

Every once in a while , I seem to ‘zone out ‘ of this matrix , and see it all from the outside.
Every time that happens, I’m filled with exquisite wonder and awe at it all.
When I step back in, almost against my will, I still carry the wonder and immense gladness to be here…exactly where I am……awashed with Love and bursting with compassion.

It is only when I stick around long enough inside…….that I start to forget…….that I start to feel heavy and burdened, with the pain that I see, through these eyes.

I need to remind myself that what I see, is not all there is….remind myself of the unending joy and love that I seem to touch fleetingly from time to time.

The magic of which, I bring back with me.

Acceptance of the Ego

There is a tendency to look down upon the ego mind when we become ” spiritual”
What does Spirituality truly mean ?
It means simply that there is a recognition of oneness. That EVERYTHING is connected…….is ONE.
So in my understanding so far, the ego mind is very much a part of the ONE as well.
It is, in fact, in our judgement and condemnation or disapproval of it that we see separation all over again.
So what is true spirituality ? The ability to love ourselves and others with no judgement, and complete acceptance and compassion. To be in a human experience IS to have an ego mind. However to transcend the ego mind does not mean to condemn it or look down upon it. It means to love oneself and others INSPITE of it.

Conversations on the inside

” I am whatever you choose to be, what you have chosen to be and whatever you can choose to be……so how can I ever judge you, or feel inferior/ superior to you?

How can I ever feel ‘ hurt ‘ by something YOU do?
How can I do anything other than simply Love you ?

I am EVERYTHING you are, (and are not) because YOU ARE ME and I AM YOU. “


“When your heart starts to pulsate with love and it grows to fill up your body and you are a walking talking embodiment of love…..thats when you are “enlightened “

Me –
” But there are some ‘ enlightened masters ‘ who have been angry at times, or been short with those that are not coming from a place of love lets say. How does that work? Are they Love at that time “


“Well think of it like this, Love takes many different forms. When a parent lets a child make a mistake so that the child can learn…that is Love. When the parent protects the child by giving guidance from experience…that too is Love. Love can be firm if that is what it takes sometimes to uplift someone. “

Me- So what is the best way to be love?

I was shown a being standing with a mirror in front of different people.
A child, an old person, a cripple, a sick person….but the mirror only shows them as the being thats holding it.
Then the mirror went away and I realised it was the heart that filled up the being that was the true mirror. The embodiment of Love …reflecting the highest form of anyone and only seeing the highest form of anyone…therefore inspiring those, that are ready to look at themselves to know that they are that which they see reflected in Love. Once they see themselves as that, they remember “


” When you start to break the shackles of your earthly limitations and operate from outside the matrix , those that are still bound , sense it with their energy which is connected to yours. It can feel threatening to them because they sense they are not yet ready to let go themselves.

They feel fearful of what is ,as yet , unknown to them.

This may be because they still need to work through and overcome the effects of the choices made by them in fear. It is like veils upon their sight not allowing them to see clearly who they truly are.

These veils keep them in darkness.

Your light unnerves them.

In this case, they try with all the means available to them to hold you within the same self imposed limitations that you initially operated from. They try their best to frighten you back into submission to the ego’s guidelines through various means and designs.

To give them credit for intentionality, most times if they care about you, they may be frightened FOR you as they do not yet understand this freedom from fear because they still operate from it.
Look upon these fellow travellers not with irritation and resentment or even mild impatience, because that is merely your own ego mind trying its best to also align you to what it knows best.

Look upon them instead, with compassion and pure presence.

When their energy senses the absence of fear and instead the pure presence of Love and faith, they have no choice left, but to either follow their souls instinct to join you in your liberation or choose to remain in the shadow and control of fear in all of its disguises.

In either case, there is perfection simply because fear cannot ever outlive Love. “

You do you !

It is when we realise that expectations set us up for disappointment that we learn to let them go.
” You do you and just be you, I will still accept you.”
Now thats the true meaning of Love.
The highest, best, most liberating form of Love.
Accepting one another as we are.
Easier said than done, we say.
No, not really.
When we accept ourselves with all of our own quirks, perceived flaws etc, we are then ready to accept another, in the same way.
Self acceptance leads to love in our hearts for all …and it starts with us accepting ourselves in a deep way.
Expectations come from a notion we have, of how things and people ” ought to be.”

Ought to be , according to who?

Each one of us is SUCH a bundle of uniqueness…….even if we tried, which bundle of uniqueness would we all agree to conform with ?

Would not the charm of relationships just fade away if we were all exact clones of eachother…wanting the same things…being the same … the same way. Where is the joy in that ? Where is the growth in that ?
So you do you ! Be you ! I will accept you as you are.
Because I accept me ……as I am❤


1) When we are ‘ IN’ our human experience, there is duality (yin and yang), ( good & bad) , ( gain & loss), (joy & suffering) …you get the idea.

2) When in this experience of duality, we experience something good , we become estatic, euphoric and we forget that if we can experience the highs…..the lows are also inevitable.

ACCEPTING that both are possible in this human experience, is the first step towards liberation from suffering and therefore lead to Equanimity. The ability to stay balanced , even whilst a storm rages around you, knowing that it is all merely an experience aimed at your growth.

3) Rememberance is the key.
Rememberance that you are at the same time, both present in the human experience and in higher spiritual realms. So all you need to do, is constantly and consistently practise shifting your consciousness to a spiritual level. What does that mean?

I often give the example of a maze. You exist at a human level inside the maze, but at the same time, your spiritual consciousness also simultaneously exists above, below and around the maze. So when you are IN that maze…you have a choice. You can choose to walk around, trying this or that, bumping into obstacles, suffering, OR at ANY TIME, you can choose to RISE above the human consciousness and into your spiritual awareness.
How do you do that ?
You remember to practise stepping into alignment with your highest, best self DAILY, consistently.
What is your highest, best self?
It is the most expansive , unconditional, loving, giving, accepting , forgiving, patient, understanding, generous, compassionate , empathetic, kindest part of you !

It helps to remember that the Divine Source of everything or God exists in everyone you meet. I like to pretend it is God in different disguises.

Especially use this when you are judging someone or disliking someone, you will notice how dramatically you shift in your attitude towards them.

4) Once you practise rememberance and practise shifting into a higher, more expansive awareness at all times, then you will see the same thing from a much larger perspective and very often , immediately the suffering will drop and you will be able to look at the situation or person who is causing you angst in the human experience , with a very neutral and lovingly detached outlook. At that time, instead of having a ” this is so horrible ” ” oh no what am I going to do ” etc, you are then able to look at the same situation / person and say ,” Hmm how interesting ! “
At this moment ask yourself the question, what would LOVE do ? Because that is what Divine source is…and essentially that is then what YOU are too !

5) THEN , when you are ready to go back into the human experience, you can deal with it completely differently , whilst remaining in alignment with your highest best self.