When you seem to be facing the same situations or patterns that seem to frustrate you or cause any kind of suffering, I have learnt that, it helps massively at that time
1) to be aware of the pattern re-surfacing
2) to pause before reacting……as that reaction will come from the subconscious patterns developed over time
3) to deliberately do something you have not done before. That includes complete inaction and silence as well.
This not only breaks the loop that you feel you are stuck in, but also gives you the understanding that you have more options available to you than you previously thought were available.
Counter uncomfortable silences with silence ….often we try to fill up uncomfortable silences with talking incessantly or with words…any words …anything to avoid the discomfort of the silence. Sometimes this becomes a powerful tool of manipulation.
Disempowered empaths or sensitives, need to make sure everyone around them is happy.
This is not their responsibilty but somehow they feel it is.
As a sensitive being, you pick up on non verbal communication. When you sense that someone is not in balance ( angry, sullen, judgemental etc ) you go into an overdrive of trying to bridge the silence in a premature effort to make things right, all the whilst frantically trying to search within, if its something you have done or said or if there is something you can say or do, to make things alright again.
As an empowered empath you can stand in your own peace by realising that whatever someone else is going through is their responsibility to process, not yours.
So you are ENTITLED to be happy NO matter what someone else is going through. You are only ever responsible for your own joy, your own sense of peace, your own processing of your own difficult emotions.
As a disempowered empath, you feel you can use the same tactics of sullenness and silence to affect the happiness of those around you, not realising that not everyone is going to be affected like you are and also not realising how immature this approach is. To control others through your silences is basically bullying and manipulating.
Knowing this, enables one to counter uncomfortable silences with a silence that is calm and centred.
All of the lower vibrations feel as if they stem from Drama somehow.
They feel more and more ” false”.
They FEEL real to those going through them I think, but that is only because they have not yet encountered the realness of the true emotions running within us at all times.
My mom called me a pure soul early this morning and my instant reaction was a guffaw !
Then in that half asleep state, I heard this in my heart, ” All souls are pure. There are none that are not pure. “ My mind instantly went into judgement, thinking of some that are ” definitely not” 😅
And gently but firmly my ” voice ” insisted that they too are pure souls.
” All souls are pure …to deny this is to deny that Source is omnipresent. To deny the purity of any soul is to go into separation again.”
The more we grow in awareness, the more we tune into what is real inside of us.
That we are made up entirely of Love.
That is the only truth.
The rest is false and therefore the more we grow in awareness of the truth of us the more we view anger, irritation, victimisation, and all else that is not Love and peace, as drama.
Real growth however, only occurs, when we recognise the ‘ drama’, and we also recognise having gone through the ‘drama’ stage ourselves and be able to feel compassion and understanding for all.
Listen and tune into this message of love and of light- of the true nature of everything.
Everything IS LOVE AND LIGHT – often obscured by the shadows of the darkness you carry within you.
If you were to choose to let it go, it would be effortless to see the Light everywhere, even in places that you never expected to see it.
Holding on to the darkness is a choice you make ….daily…in every moment.
It is not foisted upon you.
No matter what it feels like, you CAN let your burdens down.
Eat, sleep, drink, breathe kindness and compassion- breathe in and out compassion. Slow down and steady your pace.
Be guided by spirit in your every moment to the truth.
The truth of you and the truth of all else.
If you could, but see this truth in everyone and everything- you would see light everywhere.
It would not be obscured by the darkness you are choosing to filter your sight with.
You CHOOSE your fears, you feelings of unforgiveness, your pet peeves, your irritations and your defensiveness, your judgements, your anger, your sorrow.
All these are the shadows cast by the ego part of you.
The spirit aspect of you, can choose to let these go in an instant if you do not insist on holding onto them.
Spirit won’t MAKE you do anything.
You cannot hurry, force, coerce your Spirit aspect. Your spirit aspect is vast like a mountain and yet gentle and wispy like a breeze.
Your human aspect is a tiny , delicate butterfly.
What must you do ?
Surrender and trust
Surrender to your divine spirit. Surrender to its knowing Surrender to its timing. And most of all, Trust in your ability to surrender.
Our feeling of safety is determined by how solid our foundation feels to us.
However we feel our foundation needs to be rock solid and never changing. Our foundation can be the people we love , the relationships we hold dear, the ideas we have about ourselves and others,the ideas and beliefs we have, the way we see the world and so on.
We are also encouraged in building solid foundations and are told time and again how important the strength of these foundations are.
“Get a solid educational foundation/ marriage / relationships / belief systems/ traditions / value system “etc etc, and these are ideas then, that we pass on to our children along with the underlying fear of things shifting, changing.
Leaving them totally unprepared for the only thing that is true of every life – change.
So often we go into deep grief and fear, when we see our foundation is not as rock solid as we wanted it to be.
If we are, ever evolving energy, and everything that surrounds us is also energy, then our foundations are also just that.
Ever evolving energy.
So if we made friends with the idea that everytime we evolve and create a new balance where ever we are, then that is our new foundation and that our foundation evolves as we do, then we will never feel uprooted or upset or fearful of things / people/ relationships/ our ideas and beliefs changing in our lives.
We will learn to flow with the change.
We might even learn to thrive as we change.
All we need to do is, see the true nature of it all.
I often wonder how we would LIVE, if we didn’t fear death ?
If we could discuss it as easily as we discuss life.
If we embraced it and celebrated it as easily as we embrace and celebrate each anniversary of every birth?
How would we LIVE, if we became besties with death ?
If the mere thought of it did not leave us quaking with the fear of loss. If everyone we knew, started to change the way they viewed it as well and supported us in celebrating this incredible journey. Not only the beginning or the end……. but the entire journey ?
What if we all cheered for every soul that lived and with whom we had the privelege of this life experience ?
Cheered them on to another experience…with love and gladness in our hearts ? Tears in our eyes, yes, because we would miss them in their physical form, but with so much love washing over us ?
How would we LIVE, I wonder, if we loved Death as well as we love LIFE ?
Empaths coping mechanism…an insight into one of the subtler ways of coping with overwhelm
Sometimes a sensitive person or an empath starts to use “woundology” as a way to connect with people as it has become their default programming.
It usually starts in childhood when the child notices that speaking about the things that are going ” wrong ” in their lives, inadvertently protects them from further onslaughts on their senses. Where people start to tiptoe around them, nurture them or are more sensitive to their feelings because they start talking about how unfairly life has treated them or how hurt they already are. It is almost like an unspoken plea,” Please don’t make me feel more overwhelmed. I can’t take it. “
Also, because they are empaths, they will do ANYTHING to spare peoples feelings, so they will find it extremely difficult to state boundaries clearly or simply say NO.
As empaths, they also find it tough to handle rejection and disapproval as they feel these more acutely in their bodies. It is almost unbearable. So they would rather deflect, than take a direct route to establishing clear boundaries.
This happens when their environment causes them to feel unsafe and has too much coming at them or too much happening in their environment which makes them feel overwhelmed.
As a result, they tune into their wounds and start to speak about how difficult life is for them. They focus on their wounds, on things that are going wrong, and whilst this brings a respite from the overwhelm and they unconsciously start to protect themselves in this manner in all of the areas of their lives, it also attracts more situations to be wounded about. Whatever we focus upon expands in our experience, afterall.
This is only one of the coping mechanisms but since it is so subtle, it is sometimes tough to recognise.
When empaths start to empower themselves by becoming more aware and conscious of their own ways of dealing with their experiences and indeed more open to being vulnerable again, then any situation that used to overwhelm them has the potential to have them instinctively go back into the ” fight or flight ” response, which is truly what woundology really is.
At this juncture, it is important to remember that connecting to anyone this way did not give them great results and only a mediocre connection. More importantly, it left them feeling inauthentic and even more disempowered as their experience was now controlled by their own wounds.
It is even more important at this juncture to remain in their strength and express their unique truth honestly and clearly.
This need not be hurtful to others at all. If it is consciously coming from an empowered energy, it will be still calm and gentle yet firm. A mild example of this is , if someone asks you to do something which is something you don’t want to do, instead of saying NO, simply and clearly, you go into explaining in great detail how life is already so tough for you and how you already have so much to deal with.
This is a default defense mechanism.
If you become aware, then saying no comes with no inner need to explain why you are saying no or needing people to understand your point of view.
“ Loving yourself, sometimes means having the courage to face your coping mechanisms and choosing to let them go, even if it feels scary at first ”
” Each day is a new start. Your yesterdays do not define who you are or what you can achieve.”
These words came clearly to me in my dream, just before I woke up today.
A lot of what comes through in our dreams can help us integrate our experiences, learn and grow.
The world of energy healing and balancing, has to be navigated through feeling and deep knowing and therefore through what is often referred to as , ” blind ” faith. Seeing things with our eyes, often fails to bring as much clarity, because our sight carries with it, conditioning from what we have “seen” and experienced earlier and so carries with it, past programming which colours our perception of the present moment. Instead, when we FEEL our way through, we have to rely on our inner knowing and that opens us up to new’er’ information. Therefore improving our receptiveness and therefore our clarity.
When we pray or meditate, we close our eyes…..even when we wish to receive guidance from our higher selves, we close our eyes so that we can tune in, more effectively, without the visual inputs to distract us.
This enables us then, to make better choices through loving kindness towards ourselves and with a clearer intentionality towards what we really want to create in our life experiences.
We are given an energy body which is divided into 3 main parts….mental, emotional, physical (there are others, but in the human experience, these are the ones we are consciously aware of and affect, with the choices we make on a daily basis.)
There is a reason behind this.
Being human, we have to learn how to balance and be in optimum health in all of these parts.
Learning this balance is a very basic part of our souls “learning experience”, at every stage of its growth.
It is ALSO a sign of the souls maturity, when it is able to understand the importance of achieving this sense of balance AND does so, seemingly effortlessly. Not too much focus on any ONE of these areas but instead on all equally, without obsessing over them.
Most spiritual masters/ teachers have been in this state of balance.
When we focus on any ONE part and NOT the others, there is an imbalance that is created which, sooner or later, causes us distress. Also, when we expose ourselves to stimuli that appeals to only one part of us, it leaves us feeling hollow and incomplete. For example, if we focus only on physical pleasure (addictions of any sort), they leave us feeling hollow and only give a very temperary satisfaction. If we focus too much on mental pursuits but do not nurture the physical and emotional, we end up feeling overwhelmed and confused. Whereas, if we were to start moving our body, it causes our emotional body to feel better too (release of happy hormones) and then automatically our mental body functions better…..the confusion lessens. If we only focus on the emotional body and do not take care of our physical or mental body, similarly there will be an imbalance, sooner or later, in the way we deal with and process life. Anxiety / panic attacks, depression and a host of mental and emotional challenges that a lot of people are facing these days is due to this imbalance.
Once we understand WHY it is important to keep it all in a state of balance, and we take the ACTION steps required, then we give ourselves the opportunity to thrive, to learn, to grow.
Our energy body has these distinctive parts also because it serves as a backup/default way to help us still grow, learn and thrive in case one part needs help or assistance.
The Para Olympics is a prime example of people who are physically challenged but whose mental & emotional bodies do the heavy lifting and they achieve amazing feats.
If we are to always take care of these aspects of our health and keep them in a state of balance, then when life throws us curve balls as a learning experience, we are better able to handle them and move on with grace.
