CONDITIONING

Why do birthdays , festive holidays make us feel so despondent or lower our vibrations sometimes ? Aren’t they supposed to be happy times and aren’t we supposed to feel the joy ?

This is something I was thinking about today. There have been times in my life where Ive excitedly prepared for Christmas , Diwali, Valentines Day etc and really looked forward to my birthday. There have been equally times where the mere thought of these occasions coming around has thrown me into a state of feeling miserable without quite knowing why.
Thinking about it today , I realised that our conditioning ,our expectations is the root cause of the misery.

When we have been brought up in loving ,caring homes where each occasion has consistently given us joy or our birthdays have been made a big deal of …we start to expect that to continue ,as we grow older, from the partners or families we belong to now.

When the quality of the celebration does not meet the mark, our conditioning makes us feel as if we have been let down.
Or if we have been brought up in families where these occasions were a source of stress or disappointment right from the beginning, where we compared the lack of love and joy to other friends and their families where it all seemed to be perfect …our conditioning again makes us feel not so great around these times.

Or if we made beautiful memories with certain people who are no longer in our lives , our hearts link the joy of these occasions to those people. Their absence , in our lives , is then felt acutely , as we are comparing how we felt then and how we are feeling now.

So how do we help ourselves get out of this?
Well Im thinking, that the mere understanding of the ‘why’ leads us to the ‘how’.

Each one of us will have a different approach to feeling better.
I do feel , however , that loving detachment and letting go of the memories and expectations that no longer serve us, making new memories where we cherish ourselves , instead of waiting for someone outside of us to do it for us, are some of the ways.

I also remember, feeling the stress to uphold certain traditions…buy new clothes for Diwali, make sweets, give them to neighbours etc. This year Im happily oblivious to it all. I no longer feel the need to do any of it. I have lovingly detached myself from the obligation and traditions that no longer make me feel great. There is no longer any ‘ must do ‘ or ‘ have to ‘ in any of these occasions . Doing what gives me joy….and therefore showing my kids the freedom that comes with following their hearts and their joy.
Make today a day of deep love and appreciation for yourself and everyone. It is the best way to lift yourself up. For example anybody you meet …stop and say hello and smile into their eyes. Or people who do stuff for you…show them your appreciation. Spread kindness.
I go around leaving little notes for people I care about …and stopping to tell strangers that they look nice or cab drivers that their cabs smell nice or that I enjoyed my conversation with them.

It always always lifts my spirits when I stop to lift someone else’s

OUR INNER GUIDANCE

We need to know that we are fine. All is well and only going to get better. All we really need to do is to keep our thoughts uplifted and focus on listening to our inner guidance. Our inner GPS. Our inner knowing. As to our own unique paths.

Taking a decision, to not allow anybody to shake our balance or our alignment with our inner being. No matter how much we love them and no matter how close we are to them. It is not worth it. Not at the cost of our peace of mind .
Be patient with them as the ones that hurt us the most, are usually the most disconnected with their own inner being / higher consciousness.
However, being patient with them does not equate to stepping down to their vibrations to meet them. Let them raise their vibrations and come up to meet us. That is what we intended as souls.
Not one of us is a victim. No matter what it looks like on the outside. Remember that.
Once we understand that deeply , we will be free to walk our own paths without feeling unnecessary pain or the obligation to uplift everyone around us every single time.

How liberating and how empowering if each one of us took that responsibility for ourselves.

RECOGNITION

Aaj kal mein,
kucch badal sa gaya hai
Sara jahaan, jaise baarish main,
dhul sa gaya hai…


Har cheez mujhe, ab aur saaf nazar aaye
Lekin toote hue patte ki tarah, ab mujhe , idhar udhar na kheench paye.

Yeh zindagi mujhe ab rehmat si lage
Sabhi aur dushman kam ,aur dost zyaada lage
Dekha jaye toh shaayad sabhi waisa hi hai jaise kal tha
Sirf mere purane nazariye ka kasoor tha

Sabhi mere jaise hi hain
Aur main unse mukhtalif kahaan
Sab yeh sacch samajh jaye
Toh kitna sundar ho hamaara jahaan

Translation :

Something has changed these past few days
The whole world looks so new,
as if its been washed in the rain
Everything appears so much clearer ( more vivid ) to me now..
I no longer am that leaf that is blown here and there on the whims of the winds of change.

Life now seems to me, to be a blessing
When I look at others , I recognize more friends than foes
Maybe if I think about it , things are actually still the same as they were before
The only thing at fault was in my old way of looking at the world

Everyone around me is the same as me
How am I any different from them ?
If everyone is to see how connected we are and how similar
Our world would be such a beautiful place ❤

GURU

The clarity which comes from within us, as a result of inner work, is far more satisfying and effective than a readymade solution from the outside of us, no matter which exalted guru / teaching etc it comes from.

They can only bring your focus to things that THEY, in THEIR experience, have found helpful. By no means does it mean that it would be the same for you.

Going within, armed with curiosity and a determination to be kind to yourself no matter what shows up…to be courageous enough to look at whatever shows up…however rubbishy it is …is way more effective than have someone tell you what your problem is and where your solution lies.

ANCHOR & WINGS

It is not anyone outside of you , that is your anchor or who gives you your wings. You are your own anchor and your own wings. They merely give you the perception of being your anchor.

See things as they are and not how you wish to see them.

Truth does set free. You are like the bird that refuses to go free, even when the cage door is open. Dont you want to know what lies outside that cage ? You have a glimpse of what that freedom would be like. You mistrust your ability to come through that dark night that will precede your vision of the glorious day ..but to stay back blinded because you choose to close your eyes…its a pity.
Look back and see how many dark nights you have come through . Hasn’t the day after the darkest of nights been worth it ?
Free will is a real and tangible thing. No one sets you on any path not of your choosing. Just open your eyes and look at the choices that will serve your higher calling.

Yes you can have your loved ones along with you on this journey, but you must set yourself free in your mind and your heart.
Your heart MUST be free for you to be able to see clearly that joy and freedom are not bound by any one person … are not because of any one person. They are there for you regardless of who and what is absent or present in your life. Once you set yourself free from this limitation inside of you….you will be able to walk unhindered in your joy. Nothing outside of you will have the power to control your joy.
Its not as if they want to control it. Its more because you give them that power. All Im saying is …why should it be so ?

A LOVE LETTER

My mind , my heart , my understanding is growing. There is an expansion taking place which is changing the way I act and react to everything around me.

I am , in every moment , being as true to myself , as I can possibly be. I do not see myself doing otherwise anymore.

While most of you are riding along on this crazy train with me ,with all its thrilling crazy twists and turns, this is probably bewildering for some of you that do not understand my need to be on this ride yet.
I do feel SO MUCH love and gratitude for you too…as much as I feel for those of you, who have willingly hopped on with me.

However I do not see any reason or possiblity to ‘re-adapt ‘ to your comfort zone version of me. I am so grateful that you understand and even if you don’t, I love you ❤

BACK TO LOVE

The gist of all this learning is to love your neighbour as you love yourself. In the deepest way possible. No boundaries, no holding back.

Ive been getting glimpses of this huge round circle….first a huge dependency on what I perceived to be God…who, in my mind was definitely an external force…someone to be beseeched and bullied and begged from…then later someone to thank when ‘good stuff’ happened …with an underlying, almost unconscious thread of fear of judgement and retribution if there was a slacking of appreciation on my part…going on to understanding how I could create my own reality…to feeling a separation from God / Divine source where my focus changed to ME being the creator of my life… completely in charge of me .

This phase had me focussing on self awareness , self acceptance and self love…so much of ‘ Self’ !
I felt the distance from the Divine source….the furthest Ive ever been.


Forgot to talk, and to communicate…only remembered to talk to the movers and shakers …but no time to spare to communicate within, to the Divine source of all creation. And recently been feeling the distance acutely…being shown the way back…bit by bit.
Its all so beautifully planned and designed that it leaves me breathless with awe at the intricacy and yet
the simplicity of it all.
The books Im suddenly picking up to read ( knowing it is time to ) , being led to different learnings by different teachers ( some of who, are not even aware that they are teaching ! ) , its all so beautiful!
I can see it as lights blinking on, in a particular sequence ….BLINK BLINK BLINK ….one by one….in the very unique sequence which was mapped out to make me understand , knowing that even a small step here or there would not work as precisely as this.
And to think that each one of us souls have this unique customised sequence planned ! Its just ….mindblowing to me.

The walls that I so carefully built…the energetic boundaries …are after all the last thing to understand😅😂…they needed to be built in order to understand how important it is to pull them down, especially now with this deeper understanding of connection.


I don’t know if you will understand that drawing..but it is what I saw as what has been my path. The point in the middle is when my energetic boundaries were the highest. The distance in my awareness ( the separation on an inate level ) the most.
It is not everyone’s path. Its just what I perceive has been mine. To get over the fear of being taken advantage of.
If there is no separation , then all of this is just an egoic concept.
The distance also is symbolic of my distance with others inspite of the connection I felt through each of my readings.
The readings were honestly the only times I would feel unconditional pure love for the souls I was doing the reading for. I did not know their shell , only saw their pure souls and fell in love… every .single.time !
The purpose of those readings was not only to bring them closer to their own understanding of themselves but also to give me the deep deep understanding of how to look at those that I feel are separate from me because I can only see their shells.

How to look at EVERYONE as truly an extension of me.


Love thy neighbour as you love yourself 💕


It shall take me some time to get there completely…but atleast now, I know how 💕

MORE ROOM FOR LOVE

Less is more !

I think I finally get this ! I thought I understood it and agreed with it for a long time, but I realise now , that it was at a very superficial level.

As a little girl , I was given the honour of dusting our drawing room ( living room as it is now called ). I revelled in the task and was so careful not to break these delicate figurines and showpieces that my mom and grandma had collected from around the world on their travels.
Each piece had a story attached to it. I was so proud of our home and its beautiful things. I grew up and moved into my own little home when I started working. I also started gathering my own ‘ beautiful things ‘ as I started to travel…things to remind me of the places I’d travelled to and the memories I had made.
Countless photographs , gifts , clothes from our wedding , my boys favourite stuffed toys , their first blankets , photo frames , dishes handed down in our families..the list is endless.

I was carrying tradition forward.

I have moved from home to home , even countries, carrying my ever increasing load of memories. On my journey within, I have unlearnt so many many things. I think one of the latest things I have unlearnt , is the love for ‘ things ‘. I woke up one day with total clarity about this. I looked at my things and for the first time ever , saw clearly that they were just objects. I was no longer attached to these or even to my memories.
The only thing that really mattered anymore ,was this incredible feeling of clarity and love.
I proceeded to de -clutter my home. I realised that the most precious memories are deep in my soul and as for the ones I have to look at objects to remember , maybe were not worth remembering anyway.
I gave away bags and bags of things to people who would use them or needed them, way more than I did. Once I had given away ‘ sentimental ‘ items , the rest was child’s play.

Now, not only do I have way less to clean , but it struck me as a happy, happy thought that my home and heart have more room for love 💕

ROLE MODELS

As parents , we are role models to our kids whether we are conscious of it or not. They emulate what we do , not what we say.
Rigidity, being stuck to ideas and ways of being , a refusal to change ones viewpoint is all duly noticed and then imbibed.
Change is the very essence of life.

Learning to adapt , learning to think differently , keeping an open mind
and more importantly , an open heart …now these are things to pass on to our kids.

Ive been the parent that sticks by the rules, that refuses to think differently from what was learnt ,in the form of values , traditions, food ,culture, fitness , relationships , religion etc !

In the name of conformity , of fitting in , of being one with the people that surrounded me.
When I was that parent , I raised a child that refused to think outside the box, did not know how to , a child who was fearful of any changes in his environment, fearful of stepping outside any lines , fearful and anxious about expressing his truth.

Somewhere down the line, thankfully I changed.
Therefore my kids did too.


I am no longer fearful of being different, of sticking out like a sore thumb , of greeting new experiences and new people without fear and with instead an attitude of curiosity and gratitude.


Learning , forever learning !
My children watch me try new things, do new things, learn new things. They watch me step out of my comfort zone again and again and they learn to do the same…..faster and better than me!

I wish we realised that, how we choose to live our lives , speak our truths impacts our childrens lives to such a great extent. We get to raise heart healthy , loving , kind , adventurous, adaptable human beings or we get to raise robots. The choice is ours.

A message from me ….to me