“Let your heart lead the way. ”

Why was everything presented in riddles/ parables by the teachers ? Not presented in a straightforward way ?

“At that time , too many religious practices had murkied the still and clear waters of the human mind. The heart was no longer in control… if things were presented as they were, they would be immediately rejected , and they WERE rejected by many as many teachers, older souls tried also to present things as they were.
The mind likes complications and the heart simplicity. This path can only be walked with the heart in charge as that alone knows faith . The heart alone recognises the truth of Love in all its simplicity.
Use your heart and you will understand the ‘ riddles ‘ / parables / stories. Using your mind , you will scrape the surface.
If you recall, the few that walked this path always had some ” disciples” who understood and accepted the simple truth that was being explained. They would have no need for parables / stories.
The parables / stories served to placate the minds of those that did not yet understand the simplicity of the message. Those in whom the mind with all of its fearful thinking, was in charge…it felt important and soothed at the same time. The stories taught everyone different things….because different ones were at different levels of understanding , want, and faith. This is how the truth has survived through the ages and still reaches many.
Those that choose to distort the very very simple truths in those stories and also those that are ready.
If the truths were told the way they were, those that did not understand them and were in the throes of fear, would reject them. Not only reject them but also declare them as going against the very One whose truth was being expressed.
A good teacher teaches lessons in such a way that all the students benefit in some way or another. The teacher does not teach only the ones who are closer to understanding. He touches their hearts and in that way causes them to remember. He reminds them, through the stories / parables that touch the heart, that the heart will lead them correctly.
The heart alone will show them how to remember all that their mind made them bury.”

” Nothing has any meaning other than the meaning Ive assigned to it. “

Seems a simple enough concept to understand and accept, until you realise that it applies to everything and….everyone.

To say that a spoon or a picture means nothing, other than the meaning Ive assigned to it, is easy enough to accept and understand.

Today, with a sudden flash of understanding though, I realised that this principle also applied to my aspirations, my relationships as well as, my ultimate dreams.

Like the “House in the hills.”

I have thought, that ever since I could remember, Ive wanted to ‘own’ my dream house in the hills.

A house that was perfect in every way.
Had all of my perfect rooms, reading nooks , fireplaces, huge kitchen, cosy living rooms etc etc.

I realise now, that with every other little dream that crashed and burnt, my dream house became a little more ‘perfect’.
Every relationship that hurt, every loved one that I lost, atleast I still had my dream house.
Nobody could take that away from me.

My ‘ House in the Hills ‘ , my dream home, would make up for ALL the hurt, the loss and the let downs along the way and all would be ultimately well, when I finally got to it. I WOULD have my ” Happily ever after”. There was no two ways about that.

The egoic mind attaches itself to various anchors and builds fortresses to keep safe. The anchor can be relationships , people, jobs , bank balances, name and fame…the list is literally endless.

The soul almost always gets buried under all of this clutter. Almost.
It never stops shining through the clutter. Never stops calling out to you. Never stops urging and nudging you. When you feel invested in something you feel ought to give you joy and it doesn’t – the soul is responsible. When you feel a sudden spurt of joy in something totally unexpected and against your conditioning, thats your soul again.

A lot has led up to this moment today, when Ive realised completely and irrevocably that the ” House in the hills” has no other meaning other than what Ive assigned to it, over all these years.

Today I forced myself to look at when this ” House in the Hills ” was born.

It was born the day that my grandfather died. I grew up in Dehra Dun in a home that my mom and nanaji built when I was very little and my sister “littler ” still.
My first memories are of running up and down the little ‘ hills’ of stones and cement and sand that were piled up at the building site of our home. Nanaji sitting in a folding chair in the sun, reading his newspaper, taking turns with mommy in supervising the workers. Im not even sure if that is a real memory.
My mind plays tricks on me Ive realised, to get me even more emotionally invested than I am.
I do not remember the day the house was finally complete, I do not remember moving in. I do not remember our first moments there.

This is what I DO remember –
I remember waking to the sounds of the clear, crisp mornings, to nanaji doing the japuji sahib in our prayer room, to the sounds of naniji busy preparing breakfast in the kitchen or cribbing at the jamadar bhaiya for not cleaning properly, to the feeling of pure joy on being cuddled by mommy , nani and nanaji.

I remember mornings when I used to run into nanaji’s room to climb into his arms as he listened to his radio- the feel of his open beard as it tickled me- the wonderful smile that crinkled up his face and beamed out of his beautiful eyes. The feeling that we were the most precious things in the world- most loved, most cherished – my sister and I.

I remember nani singing ” oh oontha walia ” in her sweet lilting voice at my prodding. Me jiggling the sweet flab under her arms whilst she told us bedtime stories. Her cooking in that beautiful kitchen which felt as if it was always filled with light. Making simple meals now that I look back, but the taste of which I have never found again, except in my little sisters cooking.
I remember laying out the table for naniji , helping her and mommy clear up, and putting plates in the sink which my sister and me had to step on a wooden stool to reach.

I remember watching nani dress up every evening for tea…putting on her pearls and a hint of lipstick. Tea felt like an important and lovely tradition, even if there was no one coming to it except us.

I remember mommy braiding my hair whilst trying to get both me and my sister ready for school. I remember nanaji and mommy playing taash in the afternoons whilst Archu and me sat at either end of the radiogramme with our ears glued to each speaker and singing along with our favourite songs.

I remember each room of that house , the pride naniji took in it, the pride that rubbed off on me. I remember the bead curtain that mommy suddenly decided to make separating the living room and the dining room. I remember her collection of Russian dolls in the display cabinets that I longed to hold.

• 

• 

• 

Most of all, I remember the lime, litchi and mango trees in our backyard, the hedges and plants that for some reason , I would speak to, the Christmas trees outside that were planted and were shorter than me but soon became my height and then way way taller than me.
I remember playing oonch- neech , ghar ghar with my hapless cousin who we gave no choice in the matter ( 2 girls against 1 boy), Ramu Ramu , wrapping mommys dupattas around our heads, pretending to have long hair.

I remember the sheer beauty of it raining outside whilst we were all cosy inside- wrapped up in love.

The peace , the tranquility, the nature, the weather , the cold water from the taps but most of all , the love. The family. The togetherness. The feeling of being loved and protected, the feeling that all was well in my world.
That is what I felt that house represented.

And when nanaji died, with it that feeling did too. I tried desperately to find that feeling in other things and people. In every house I moved to, I tried to recreate that feeling. Maybe I even did, for my children. I don’t really know.
I know I did not find it the way I remembered it.
Thats when I started to build the ” House in the Hills ” in my heart. Where that feeling would finally be.
Like I said, every hurt, every disappointment, just made me look forward to that house more, made that house more desirable, more appealing.

But my wretched soul. It knows the truth and will not allow me to turn my face away from it.
The ” House in the Hills ” only has meaning because Ive assigned that meaning to it.
My soul knows that the attaining of it, will not bring me the ultimate joy Im seeking. That joy lies in my world right now, right under my nose. In the little moments that make up my day now with my loved ones. In the shared cups of coffee with my husband, first thing in the morning. The little jokes that only the two of us understand, in the ” together huggies ” we all give eachother. In the precious time we spend with our families, friends…. our loved ones.

As my realisation grows that love is right here, right now, Im happy to let my ” House in the Hills ” fade away. Its rooms are pretty wonderful but they do not hold the key of my happiness.

That key is right here in my hand now.

“Only Love is real.
Everything that is not love therefore…….is not really real.
So Be IN love. “

If only Love is real why do I feel hurt and why do I suffer?

“Because only love is real and when you are not IN Love……..
it is the separation from Love that hurts.”

What do you mean ? Not IN love?

” When you are unhappy you are not in love
When you feel sorry for yourself, you are not in love
When you feel the need to judge , you are not in love
When you get angry or sad you are not in Love.
You see there can be many instances when you are not in Love and therefore feel separated from it and THAT is what really hurts. “

So how can I be in Love ALL the time ? Is that even possible ?

“What do you think this journey is all about ultimately if not that ?
It is not only possible.
It is the only thing that is POSSIBLE.
BECAUSE ONLY LOVE IS REAL.
You are exploring the illusion of separation just to really experience this truth of who you are firsthand. “

Treat Praise and Blame exactly the same.
Have nothing to do with either.
Coming from a place of quiet,  within, there is no acceptance nor rejection.
Just an awareness which is focussed within.
The egoic mind will pull you fiercely this way and that , trying to hook you up into the outer world by trying to make you buy into praise, shame, blame, fame etc.
But if you remain politely uninterested in either, you will reclaim your true joy.
Its tricky.
Your mind will tell you , its ok to reject the blame but be happy when you get praised. Thats the trickiest part.
The moment you buy into that, its a slippery road.
If you allow yourself to be uplifted by something that is outside of you,(someone elses perspective) then you give them the power to throw you down as well (afterall in this ever changing world, praise can become blame very quickly)

Learn to practise disengaging yourself gently and with compassion from other peoples opinions. They do not mean to hurt you. They are learning, as are you.
However if you do disengage, you find independence and clarity and a joy that is not tied up to other peoples opinions, beliefs, moods, life situations, conditioning etc etc etc!

Therefore you find you remain sunny and pleasant, no matter what storms rage around you.

They cannot penetrate the joy that you become.

• 

When we are asked a question, the part of us which is the ego mind usually jumps in trying to quickly answer.
Why ?
Because it wants to appear knowledgeable (its sense of worth is connected to how much it knows and how you are perceived by others) or because it does not want to appear ignorant (fear).

The problem with this approach, is that the ” answers ” are coming from your subconscious bank.. They do not necessarily work all the time and feel mechanical. They do not touch you or another with as much impact. They are not coming from your ” heart space.”
Your subconscious bank is built up by a lot of your own conditioning and belief systems developed over years and years.

However vast it may be, it is still limited information.

Whereas you can have access to unlimited information, if you hit the pause button and then channel the answer instead.

Have you noticed that the only way we can channel correct , profound and dynamic information, is by going into silence. The going into silence is us hitting that pause button, accepting that we do not know it all from our limited subconscious and conscious state and asking and allowing thereafter.

When we pause and accept that we know nothing…we have an “empty” space, that then allows for the ” knowing ” to come in. This is far more profound, simple and therefore more effective in hitting home.

Another reason we should hit the pause button often and go within before we jump in to talk.

In addition to this , there is a welcome relief from the pressure the egoic mind has on us, the pressure of ‘knowing it all’.

Its such a relief, to feel within your body, that you know nothing.

When you come from a place of knowing nothing , you allow the one that really knows it all, to step in.

Being able to let go, is a leap of faith.
Faith in the deep eternal wisdom of the universe.
That no matter how it looks, you will be held.
You will be fine.
Whether its people you are letting go off, or hurtful feelings , knowing that it all happens perfectly, in perfect timing, in perfect sequence and for perfect reasons.
All of us indeed are gently led by love to let go.
Like a mother letting her child walk by himself for the first time, hands hovering …not to catch him if he falls because she knows he is safe, but to soothe his hurt if he falls and frightens himself.
We all fall and hurt ourselves until we do not fear falling and are able to navigate our way with confidence, slowly recognising that we are always held, always soothed.
All of us face this fear of letting go at different times and in different ways, but we all face the ultimate letting go before we can finally understand it all……the ultimate leap of faith. All this is beautifully planned….we go at our own unique paces and carve our own unique paths. Never pulled or pushed beyond what we are ready for. We choose whether it shall be easy or tough. The resistance we put up because we don’t understand yet. And as the understanding grows, so does our faith. And then we come to it.

The surrendering.

In surrendering, we are lifted up in love.

We are lifted up with love.

In surrendering, we finally become what we always were.

Love.

We are all in this together.

We all have something in common. We all go through the ups and downs that life brings. The thing to be really grateful for, is that we are all going through it all, at different times of our lives. Some have gone through, much earlier , what we are going through now. So if we are brave enough to ask for help, there is always someone who can point us in the right direction or even hold our hand and reassure us, having gone through it themselves.
We all have different strengths or gifts too. By allowing our gifts to shine bright, we might unknowingly become a beacon of help to someone struggling. Don’t fall into the egoic trap of worrying about , ” Is my light too bright / too dim? Does it bother someone ? Can it really be seen ?  Is it really helping someone ? Am I showing off?”

All these come from a place of fear and judgement. Definitely not from your soul. 
So find out what makes you shine and then just go on and let yourself shine bright.

• 

It always starts with me.

I create my own reality, my own experiences, because it always starts with me. I send out the Boomerangs and Boomerangs …..well they come back.

I send out the ‘good’ ones -boomerangs of love, joy , acceptance, faith, hope, enthusiasm, upliftment etc AND I send out the ‘bad’ ones (pettiness, anger, criticism, worry, sadness etc)

The good ones are good because they align to the highest consciousness within me…the very best of me. The bad ones are bad because they do not align…as simple as that.

Boomerangs.come.back.

Im either showered with good ones or whacked on my head with the bad ones.

Here is the trap –

I take ownership for the good ones and I disown the bad. I look outside of me and yell, ” Who threw that Boomerang at me?” I go blue in the face blaming and critisizing and then feeling so sorry for myself, forgetting that it always starts with me.

Now here is the understanding that shifts me out of this trap. A trap I set for myself.

1) Acceptance- it is what it is.
2) Empowerment – My response is in my control
3) Understanding – my predominant thoughts based on my conditioning and beliefs creates my experience.
4) Knowing – It ALWAYS starts with me. I SEND OUT what eventually finds its way back to me ( the Law of Karma )
5) Equanimity….my focus firmly remains on my alignment with my divine self ( the highest consciousness within me), no matter what comes my way. I calmly accept it all and follow through with the same steps listed above.
I do not let praise raise me up…. nor allow blame to permeate my sense of alignment. With consistent practise and focus, joy and sorrow are eventually both treated the same by me.

It is THIS clarity that finally takes away my suffering.

Another understanding that settled in …monks in seclusion for years , people in spiritual retreats where there is no spoken communication for days or months , sadhus going to meditate by themselves in the mountains……all of these have some reasons, goals and benefits in common.

1. The focus turns inwards, where the answers are truly found. Lack of others to communicate with, forces one into communication within and eventually leads to the deeper knowing. This kind of knowing is precious and way more effective than the knowledge that comes from someone else’s experience and perspective.

2) The consistency of spiritual practice.
When one focusses on being in alignment with the highest ways of being consistently.
Purity in thoughts with no external contamination…..and the seclusion forces you into confronting your own inner thoughts which are not pure (as there is no putting that off). This process leads to a refining and purification of your thought process out of necessity. If one does not purify and change the thoughts to a higher vibration, then I imagine it must be extremely unpleasant to experience them alone , knowing that these thoughts and the energy they bring cannot be shoved aside or blamed on anyone else.
They have to be dealt with …and when they are dealt with the consistency of applying spiritual guidelines to them then the process is easier and liberating in its attainment.

3) The illusion falls away faster so the suffering is overcome by understanding.

4) The consistency fortifies the soul strength. Fills it up. The way of being in alignment, then becomes the new way of being. Any other way becomes unnatural and therefore uncomfortable.

When one again re establishes contact with the world or comes back into the same human illusion , one can then operate from a different level of alignment which is less likely to shake. Less likely to go back to the illusion. The stronger the alignment the less likely it is to go back to the old unhealthy thoughts. The more the consistency of practice, the stronger the alignment.
We can also achieve this without needing to go into caves or mountaintops.
The consistency of practise …the focus …the shutting out of the outside noise consistently are what we can all achieve anywhere.
And not treating it as two separate things
The quiet times in meditation or contemplation are the preparation for exams.
The time spent with others is not only the practicals but eventually the tests.

Knowing and being (application) are both important.
Contemplation is important .

Contemplation of spiritual truths or principles.

Contemplation of people and their motives or trying to figure them out is a rabbit hole to nowhere.
The energy if one considers the two options above, itself FEELS different.

A contemplation of spiritual principles / concepts/ truths with a view to understanding them, comes from humility , of not knowing and leads to satisfaction and a feeling of upliftment.

In contemplation of people on the other hand, judgement can sneak in. And that lowers the energetic vibration instantly and considerably.

This leads to the tricky energetic quicksand of gossip and speculation which feels different in your body. Draining of ones energy.

On asking for and giving direction ….if one stays in the safer , cleaner , higher vibrational area of spiritual truths, there is more of a likelihood of satisfaction and mutual upliftment.

If however, either goes into the murkiness of individual contemplation of peoples issues…there is never any real solution and there is also a mutual lowering of energy. This makes this very undesirable to one that has become sensitive to ones own energy.

What if ….
What if everything I ” know “, is a lie?

What if everything I know, is the opposite if what actually is ?

What if the things that Ive been told, matter….
Matter not so much ?
And the things Ive been told are a waste of my time……are what truly matter?

The only way to tune into the truth is to tune into my own.
Because everyones truth is true …..only for them.
Tune into the knowing, I carry deep inside…..

With an open heart and mind

Prepared to find, that my world is upside down
Prepared to know, that I do not Know anything at all.
Prepared to let go of all the knowing Ive based my life on, so far.

What if I realised, that accepting what IS, was way better than lofty ideals ?

What if what I thought was ‘wrong’ was ‘right’, and the ‘right’ I fought for, with so much righteousness, was ‘wrong’?

What if maybe , there wasn’t even a right or a wrong ?

What if ……..there was no heaven or hell ? What if, it was right here , created by me , in every moment, based on what I chose?

What if ‘being alive’ was only a dream and death was the door to finally awaken from it ?

What if the people I viewed as my foes were actually the ones who were my biggest teachers?
What if they actually loved me the most ?
Loved me enough, to push me into learning lessons, I would not learn otherwise….lessons that my soul wanted to learn.

What if dreams were real and the beings I met in them, too ?

What if preparing for tomorrow was not as important as living in the moment today?

What if a prestigious degree meant nothing and a simple job that gave me joy, meant everything ?

What if, the fearful thoughts my mind generated, were nothing but a bunch of vicious lies ? What if what my heart said to me in gentle whispers, was the only truth?

What if ?