Its not so much of what we SAY that matters really…it is more of what WE actually do.
No action , based in love , is too small to be taken. But be sure , that it IS actually based in love and not other stuff pretending to be love.
Pointing fingers at anyone else…anyone outside of us …is not based in love. No matter how right we think we are.
Fact of the matter is, there is no one true right. Each ones point of view is right from their own point of view. If we seek to only see things based on our own perception of it, then so much in the world will appear , to us , to be ‘ wrong ‘

True acceptance is only when all points of view can be viewed with equanimity.

As long as we rally against what we perceive as ‘ wrong’, we are not acting from our deepest , purest nature. We are a part of the Divine source and if so ..all of what we think , say or do is only met with love, isn’t it ?

We are EXTENSIONS of this pure , accepting, all loving energy.

So our deepest nature must be the same. In time, with awareness and experiences, the resistance …the illusion drops away…and then there is clarity.

Life continues to help evolve us , if we slow down enough to notice and take heed of the subtle urges that originate from deep within us somewhere.
The predominant theme for me at this point is the urge to let go …even more than I have so far.
Letting go of expectations , of ideas , of having a point of view, of showing up in a particular way.

Letting go leads to liberation because it allows me to accept whatever is showing up, in whichever manner it is showing up.

Letting go, at this point in my journey , feels to me like freedom from my own judgements , notions and ideas in such a way that is profoundly humbling. It is creating a space that I never knew existed.
An empty space.
A space which , when not filled up with what Ive let go off, is actually not empty at all …was never empty.

It was always full of love.

• 

Love and respect go hand in hand.

This used to be one of my strongest beliefs / conditioning.

Love in my eyes could not exist without respect.
Whilst sending Reiki today it was as if a lightbulb went on.

Love does not need anything else.
Love just….is.
It does not depend upon anything else.
It is mighty enough to stand on its own.
Needs no supporting emotions.
It envelops
It soothes
It holds
It covers
It inspires
It just …is.

When we start to think that love needs props, thats when we are talking about conditionality. And conditionality and love don’t go together.

• 

It is ok to give away my bowl. It is also ok to not give it away.

Not all of us come here to offer merely what is inside our bowls. Some of us come here to offer our bowls as well.

After all, the bowl and me and the perceived other are all me …all extensions of the one.

It is the intention, behind giving away the bowl, that is truly important.

When the bowl is given because of an outpouring of love , or an overwhelming compassion or pure unconditional love or feeling of wellbeing, and when one knows on the inside that,no matter how many times the bowl is ‘given away ‘ with these pure feelings, it shall be replaced again and again and again and that no real loss occurs, then it is ok to give away the bowl.

On the other hand when it is given away with fear/ neediness / conditionality /wanting something in return… like love , approval, praise or respect, only then it is NOT ok to give it away.

Even so , it is not upto any of us to decide this for another.
Each one of us gets to decide this for ourselves. Each one of us is a unique individuated expression of the ONE. So what is ok for me, may not be ok for another.

It is ok for me to give away my bowl.

It is also ok for me not to.

I am learning how it feels both ways. I am learning when to give it away and also when, not to.

It is not upto me to judge whether or not the ‘ receiver ‘ is worthy or what their intentions are or how they perceive it.

This is merely the stumbling block. The resistance to oneness. There are no firm conclusions in any of the life themes we choose to experience. There is no ” The end”.

That is what makes this never ending journey so beautiful.

• 

• 

When we are gifted with empathy and compassion , we are likely to be more questioning of our own motives and intentionality. Therefore more prone to self doubt or self criticism.

The reason is, we feel so much empathy for another, that we tend to favour their feelings and wants over our own. This creates an unnecessary imbalance energetically. Also makes us more prone to getting depleted / have more imbalanced energetic relationships or WORSE, as a defensive measure , retreat into the ‘ safety ‘ of isolation.

As compassionate beings, with compassion being the way we are meant to connect to the world, it is not to our advantage to go into isolation.

Therefore, in order to prevent this viscious cycle
1) Really becoming self aware and therefore less doubtful of our own intentions
2) loving and honouring ourselves.
3) Not giving in to the urge to explain ourselves or change our behaviour to suit the world.
4) Still caring about people but not about their opinions
5) Not retreating but being mindful of our boundaries and not hesitating to be firm about them.
6) Knowing that when we love and honour ourselves, we are not only doing what is absolutely necessary for us but also benefitting others, as then they know where they stand ( so they are not tempted to ride roughshod over us).

• 

• 

It seems to me that a lot of our suffering is self inflicted.

As children , we start sorting out what we like or don’t like and we continue to label ourselves , others and situations.

When we step out of what we then expect from ourselves ( as defined by and restricted by our labels ) , we suffer.

For example, the label of being an introvert.
When we want the company of people and rather enjoy it , AFTER labelling ourselves as Introverts, we suffer because we feel as if we have not been true to ourselves.
It causes a conflict within. Where as, if we were to realise, that actually we have not been true to the LABEL and that having that label in the first place, is not being true to the unlimited nature of our souls…then we understand the root of the conflict and can therefore resolve it.

Similarly, when we extend this sort of system to others, we walk into suffering again. When people step out of the roles or characteristics that we have assigned them to, we are disillusioned and often feel let down.

When we further allow our conditioning to extend to how life ” ought to ” unfold for us, we slip even deeper into this quicksand.

The answer to this then, is to let life unfold as it unfolds.
To not judge it , label it or restrict it.
To let people show up however they want to show up and take it all in our strides.
To show up in our own lives authentically in every moment. Whatever feels right to us in that moment, knowing and accepting that whatever feels right in one moment may not feel right in another.
To not attach to any one particular version of any of it.
We then sidestep the suffering, whilst experiencing life fully.
We do not need to run away to the mountains to find ourselves. We can be wherever we are and still find harmony in it all.

• 

• 

It is what it is.

I find myself saying this, on the inside, a lot lately.

It is what it is.

So what does this even mean ? Does it mean Im getting cynical, jaded and resigned to it all ?

OR, is it rather, a gradual letting go of how I felt things should be , how people should be , how I should be , how relationships should turn out and that list goes on?

Basically a lot of ‘ should’s’ .

With ” it is what it is , ” Im learning to let life unfold in its own way, at its own pace and being ok with it all. Becoming more of an observer and not being so actively entrenched in trying to fit/ fix things, or adjust / adapt / change anything. Learning to slowly trust in the bigger picture.

Accepting that all is exactly how it should be in any case, including me.

It is what it is.

A journey away from illusion, towards what really is.

• 

Letting your vulnerability show, is a part of being authentic. It is baring yourself as you are. It takes courage and determination and sometimes just a lot of knocks from life to know that it is truly the only way to be.

We are conditioned to be anything but vulnerable. We are taught to mask certain feelings , sometimes our innermost truths.
We are taught what is acceptable and what is not. Even in what we are feeling.

It is stifling.

Because it is not your truth. Each one’s truth is different and unique. When we allow ourselves to express our truth in the way we show up in the world, it is liberating. We then allow others too, the same liberation.

It is like letting out a long held up breath and feeling the relief of it.

The amazing part of it is, once you do show up authentically, miracles begin to unfold. Then you are aligned to who you truly are and are expressing and being who you truly need to be.

One persons truth is another ones dysfuntion. Once we understand this fact , it brings about a deeper empathy and acceptance and therefore grace.
Saves one from a lot of hurt and illusion.

Im still peeling layers of who I thought I was, to discover who ‘ I ‘ really am.
It is a long process ,sometimes bringing relief and sometimes great sorrow, but it is what it is.

And Im learning to be okay, with all of it.

Even people letting you down is an interesting test.

People you care about, will let you down. Even you will let down the people you love…..sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly.

How you react in cases like this is VERY important.

Do you retreat into your shell of judgement and hurt ? Do you give up on everyone ? Do you proclaim that all are selfish and only serve their needs ? Do you try and protect yourself by putting up high walls around you ?
Or do you grow in your understanding, so big that you can see the bigger picture……the whole tapestry, and realise that you may be just a single thread , but the way you act and react CAN actually affect the design of the whole fabric of existence.

That by NOT retreating into your own shell, by continuing to be an enthusiastic , loving , giving, unconditional light …if you inspire even one around you in the innate goodness of us all…you will start to make a difference.

For this though, you have to reach in deep…deeper than your ego would usually permit.

Deeper, way deeper than the hurt and the judgement and the wrongness into the unconditionality of it all…the love deep within. This requires the blind faith that it is worth reaching for…the faith that , that is indeed what you are on the inside. Then slowly allowing that love to seep into all of you and colour you so that you shine luminous. Where it transforms you and others around you.
By not giving into the illusion of hurt …you win …you pass that test. The test that you set for yourself and knew if you listened to your souls nudges , you would pass.

A DIALOGUE BETWEEN MY HIGHER SELF AND MY PHYSICAL MIND

HS- were you hurt ?
Me – Hell yes !
HS – Did you feel you were wronged?
Me – ABSOLUTELY
HS – Would you like to feel validated in feeling that you were right and were wronged ?
Me – yes yes yes it would only be fair.
HS- Are you willing to let go and forgive even if that does not happen ?
Me- (thinking about it for a bit ) yes please.
HS- why ?
Me- Because holding on hurts and I don’t like feeling this way.
HS- Even if you have to let that feeling of righteousness go ?
Me – yes
Hs – why ?
Me – Because feeling bad and being right still makes me feel bad. I don’t like feeling bad anymore. I would rather be happy and not care about feeling right about this.
HS- Do you realise that once you decide to do this , and you are again confronted with the person / situation that hurt you in the first place , you might feel as if its all coming back and you might feel the urge to defend yourself or put up your side of things ? That would not be ‘ real ‘ forgiveness. Or letting go.
In order to really ‘ let go ‘ and really ‘ forgive ‘ you cannot feel anything but love for the person / situation and that is truly when you would have moved on?
ME ( with a gulp ) yes I understand and I am ready
HS – why ?
Me – cos my peace , my harmony , feeling good and following my joy, staying in my alignment and experiencing clarity is more important to me than holding on to feeling right about something that takes me off my balance.
HS – Well thats a good place to start 😁